"Carpe Diem... that's seize the day." DEAD POETS SOCIETY PREFERENCES/IMAGINES

"Let me love you, fuck!" :CHARLIE DALTON REQUEST:

Author's Note: THANK YOUUU TO THE GREAT @biggestsimpforcedric  ILYYY. IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG   (TW:// Drunk and emotional Charlie)

Charlie and you hadn't seen each other for quite some time now. You talked every night, speaking in normal conversation, or Charlie whispering small little meaningful nothings to you. You tried to give the same loving words and compliments in return but... loving like that is hard for you. For a poet, you're no good with words of love. You're better with words of sorrow and pain. Somehow, you also had trouble speaking to him
about your pain and sorrow as well. It... everything was hard for you. Words just got harder and harder to put together for you.

Charlie got offended sometimes. He didn't like you being closed off and strange. He found it embarrassing, in a way. He felt embarrassed of himself. It was like you didn't trust him or love him enough to talk about yourself to him. It troubled him really often. You guys had such a great bond and relationship... except when it came time to talk about your emotions. You became at a loss for words.

Instead of Charlie just coming to you and asking why you do this and having a civil conversation... he went to the store with Knox and Pitts and picked out the biggest bottle of whiskey they had. "To drowning my sorrows!" He said jokingly as he clicked glasses with his friends. He was doing everything but joking about how he felt, even if he said it light heartedly.

The three drank and drank and drank, then drank some more. Eventually they ditched their whiskey glasses all together and began passing around the bottle till it was gone. When there was a drop left, Todd went to Charlie's room to check on them because no one had seen the three in numerous hours. He walked in on them hanging upside from Charlie's bed and cracking up. Todd ran and got Neil because Todd didn't know how to handle Charlie sober, let alone drunk. Neil went into dad mode and sent Meeks and Knox to bed, tucking them in, making sure they stayed on their sides. Charlie didn't go down so easily though. Instead he sprinted by Neil. He bolted and bolted and bolted to the exit of the school, going to follow Charlie and stop him. Neil knew where he was going. But Charlie was too far ahead and too drunk to be stopped. He made that known as well. He shouted his entire run, "YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME! CARPE DIEM!!"

He ran for a mile and then began walking. He walked up someone's walkway and pounded on someone's door. He then backed away and got ready to scream.

You opened the door and saw Charlie, the love of your life. Or so you thought. It was really his drunk alter ego. You stepped outside of your house and stared at him, happily, almost shocked.
"Charlie what are you doing here?" Out of breath, he stepped closer and pointed his finger at you.
"I ran here." You froze. He... he what? No- he didn't.
"Ch-Charlie that's three miles!" He put his finger to your lip and shushed you. You held back a laugh. Drunk Charlie was really funny! Until he fell to his knees. He started banging the ground and crying. You stepped back, unsure what to say and do. You weren't good with words.
"Ch-Ch-Charlie..." You said slowly, tapping him with the toe of your shoe. He kept crying. He was an emotional drunk.
"dO yOu LoVe mE?" He asked with a shaking voice and snot running down his face. He looked up at you when you didn't respond. He brought himself to his feet and began crying harder, his hands on his hips. You pulled your sleeve over your hand and wiped his snot rocket from his face. You didn't care if his boogers got on your shirt. Yes, that's absolutely disgusting. But you were going to wash your shirt anyway. And your boyfriend was a frazzled mess. Not only that, it was sort of your fault.
"Yes, of course Charlie. I love you so much."
"You never say it! Or show it! Am I just not good enough? I guess I'm not good enough!" Charlie bawled, his words not slurring one single time. Yeah he was blackout drunk but drunken words come from sober feelings. He was heartbroken because you couldn't explain how you felt. Now you wanted to dry. You put your hands to his cheeks and wiped away his giant tears. But he flinched away from your touch. Your eyes now welled up as well.
"You're amazing, Charlie. I'm just not good with words, I'm trying. I'm trying, Charlie." You said, holding in your tears. It was his turn to cry. You couldn't now make him feel bad.
"Let me love you, fuck! My love for you runs ten times deeper than your stuck up egotistical attitude so for fucks sake just love me back! And-" Charlie screamed. You froze once again. He found you egotistical? He thought you didn't love him? He had his hand over his mouth and was coughing? (TW:// Throwing up, sorry! I hate it as well. I'm sorry!)
"THE BUSHES THE BUSHES THE BUSHES!" You screamed as you helped him over. He bent over the beautiful green bushes your gardeners worked hard to perfect and craft. Then all of the food and liquor he consumed that day and that evening was on the side of your home and all over those bushes your neighbors envied. His stomach completely emptied as you rubbed his back and let him let it out. Eventually, he stopped. He was now too tipsy and too sick to walk all the way to school. You wouldn't have let him anyway. You put your arm around him and helped him to your door. You closed it gently so no pictures on your walls would loosen, fall, or shake. You helped him to your couch and helped him remove his tight clothing for the night. He just sat in his baggy underwear and undershirt now, completely embarrassed at what just happened and what he just said. He was almost crying. At least he was less drunk now.

You pretended not to know what he said, sitting next to him on the couch and pulling his body into yours. Touch was your best love language. You kissed his hair and stroked his cheek bone that was red and rashy from his drunken hysterical crying.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered and his voice broke. You just sighed, holding back your tears as well. Your arms were shaking as you pulled him closer.
"Just get some rest." You mumbled, your voice cracking as well. He did as you told him though. He sighed one more time and fell asleep, his head cuddled into your chest. You stroked his hair and eventually fell asleep as well.

That next morning, you woke Charlie up. You put apple juice, water, headache meds, and some toast with light butter out in front of him on the table. He rubbed him groggy eyes and looked at you, the words he let spill from his mouth last night still haunting him. They haunted you as well. He thought you were stuck up, too much in your own head... egotistical, as he put it.

"Let's talk." You said. He nodded and popped his pill, taking it down with the cold refreshing water you offered him. He already felt it working.
"Sometimes... when you get quiet... I feel dumb. Like, I want you to be happy and enjoy the words I'm saying to you but when you just say nothing... I feel like a square, a fool. I don't know. I just want you to be happy. But it seems like you're not. You never talk about how YOU feel or how much YOU love me. I would like if you did, sometimes. I feel like it's always me me me." He confessed, holding your hand. You hand that was in his began to shake. You were nervous. Now you really had to talk about yourself and how you felt. There was no escaping it.
"I didn't know if affected you so much. I'm sorry. I love you, so much, and I'll make it known to the best of my ability. But I'm not good with words. I don't have reasons to want you, I just do, why can't you understand that?" You asked, a single tear slipping down your face. Charlie went to wipe it but you beat him to it. He stifled a chuckle at your quick and agile movement. You smiled.
"I'm trying to understand it. It's just hard. I just want you to feel comfortable talking about yourself. Sometimes it feels like you don't trust me. If you share a bit of how you feel from time to time, and make a cheesy romance joke once in a while... I'll respect your boundaries better because I'll know you trust me and actually have emotions!" He joked. You laughed harder at this and rubbed another tear from your face. You looked at his beautiful face with a genuine grin sent from your heart. "There's my girl..." He said, tucking your hair behind your ear, then kissing your nose right after that.
"I'm willing to try if you are." You said, wanting him to know you were ready to love him once again, and love him properly.
"Good." He mumbled, kissing your lips. Then you had an idea. Time to try. You stood up and pretended to walk away but then fell backward on the couch, your head on his thigh.
"WOAH!!! I've- I've fallen for you." You told him. He laughed and bent over, kissing your nose. You the grabbed his cheek and kissed his lips, sitting up a bit.
"That was a great effort, pumpkin." He said, closing the gap between your lips again.