There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, no male or female, for you are all one in Jesus Christ. (Damn not even the Bible is transphobic.) (Also that movie was heartbreaking af oh my GOD)
I was bored. I had nothing to do and nowhere to go. I just walked around the whiteness. Now you're probably wondering why no moose people came and cuddled with me. Its not that I didn't have happy memories, because I did. Also that's cliche as fuck if I didnt.
Heaven was,to be dull, dull. I'd killed myself for this?
So I was alone with my thoughts. God, I wish I had something to do.
Now you've probabky read the Harry potter books, or at least watched the movies. Well SPOILER ALERT: Harry dies. (Its okay, he's okay.) In his momentary Heaven, anything he wants, comes. Like clothes. *cough cough* Inappropriate inages. *cough cough*
Heaven is so not like that.
Instead, they send people your way. Actual dead people. Maybe they think they're clever little shits, playing Cupid, Note: Cupid is a dick don't play Cupid. But they're either really bad at it, or they like to tease me.
Nevertheless, I was grateful for company. Just maybe not his company?
A gay man? Really Heaven? Well, he's number one on our list.
1. Jack. The man doesn't even need a gaydar. Or a Heaven. Gays don't belong in Heaven. But I digress. He's kind've short. Like 5'8". Black hair. Hazel eyes with gold specks. Wears turtlenecks and skinny jeans. See what I mean about a gaydar?
"Hi! Oh you poor, unfortunate, soul. Are you lost?"
"Not as much as your sexuality." I mutter.
"Oh darling, I can't hear you when you mumble. Speak up!"
"Yes, I'm lost."
"Then all you had to do was ask!" He grabbed my hand and pulled.
Okay, further Harry potter thing: Dumbledore's last words are "Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living. And above all, pity those without love."
Well with a crowd like this, pity the dead.
2. Abby. Kind of a wispy look about her, like if you huffed and puffed, you'd knock her down. Extremely pale, light blonde hair, almost white, and steel grey eyes. Apparently she died of cancer. I actually like her. Shame the rest couldn't be like her.
3. George. Jack's... well you know. George was a cross dresser. A drag queen. I don't give a shit, his name is George. According to his birth certificate he's male. Yeah well according to his birth certificate he's also like seven pounds.
4. Patrick. Teddy boy haircut, brown eyes that showed up different colors in different lighting, kind've cute, wait what? Ignore that. Wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm sarcastic, what's your superpower?"
5. Bianca. She looked like some Persian princess. Or huntress. Either way, she looked deadly.
Seven of us. The Seven. I swear on the Styx this was unintended but it happened. After vague introductions, Jack explained what Heaven was actually like.
"So its not just eternal bliss like the Bible says it is. Every rose has its thorns kinda thing, hm? Well yeah you get anything you want, but you gotta work for it. Everyone's sinned. So everyone had to repent. My bet, big daddy-"
"Don't call me that."
"My bet is you haven't repented, so you haven't had much luck in this great big golden state in the sky?"
"How do I repent?" I clenched my teeth. Just get the advice and ditch him. Ditch all of them.
"Well that's the question, isn't it?"
Ooooo sassy gay Jack. Yay. I like this.
And no, Patrick is not modeled after the dearly departed. I just stole his name.
