In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
There it is. That cliche line.
"Am I dead?"
Well I better be. Or I'm in so much shit. I swallowed half a bottle of pills.
So I was indeed dead.
And I was in Heaven. Literally.
I was lying on my back, facing an infinite nothing everywhere. "Hello?" I echoed.
Then someone appeared. She had blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes and was wearing a Smurfs shirt that seemed a few days old. "Hi. I'm Jess."
I'm sorry. Well not really. I never am.
"Are we in Heaven?"
"Yes."
"What now?"
"Everything." As she spoke, a man with puppy-ish hair and a puppy-ish look and a Great Dane-ish height appeared. And kissed her.
Ew? Right here, thanks.
So I stood uncomfortably for a minute or two. At least I think it was. It might have been years on earth. Or seconds. Or no time at all. Did time pass in Heaven?
"Hi. I'm Sam." The puppy said, a little breathless. (Again. Ew.) He evaporated.
"What was that about?" I stared at Jess.
"Oh, Sam's not dead. He's just a memory. Still alive. Still below us." Her voice was so happy, like she couldn't possibly imagine herself down there with him, as long as he was okay. Oh hun. Have we got to tell ya.
Oh God. That means she can come too. "You mean we can see living people?"
"Of course." Jess said, already fading. "You're getting one right now."
Then she appeared. God dammit. Shorter than me, stouter than me, and certainly angrier. "Damien Adam!" She yelled, and slapped me. "You son of a bitch!"
"I'm sorry."
"No you're not or you wouldn't be here!"
"You wouldn't understand."
She opened her mouth to shout some more, but shut it. "You don't think I would understand. After everything, I wouldn't know."
"I didn't mean that. Oh God. B, I'm so sorry."
But she was already gone.
It would be a lonely eternity for me, wouldn't it?
Well this was gonna be cute and look what happened.
