I never wanted this for you.
The pain,
The tears,
The sadness behind your words.
I tried to create each human with
An understanding,
That I can't work all miracles.
And what I do isn't enough,
And they say I killed my son,
But you,
You're my child too.
And I am a bad parent.
A neglectful, abusive parent.
I don't live with you.
I can only live within you.
But then,
They say "If you love something,
Let it go.
If it comes back, love it.
If it leaves,
It was never yours."
So were you ever mine?
Or was I just being selfish?
-Probably God's thoughts at one point.
I was awake. But my eyes had to adjust to the light. "Bianca." I croaked. "How long have I been asleep for?"
"Oh God Damien!" Someone was hugging me. It wasn't Bianca. She wasn't the touchy feely type. "You're okay! Oh God! You son of a bitch!"
My eyes focused on an amber head of hair and tear filled pale green eyes. "B?"
"You nearly died. You've been in a coma for days."
"How many days?"
"Seven. What's the last thing you remember?"
Swallowing pills. "Um... Our bathroom floor rushing to meet me. Why?"
"I found you. You could've died. Damien why?"
"Because I didn't live, B. I existed. And I was sick of it."
"And if you'd died? If you'd left me? Damien, you asshole, wouldn't you have felt the tiniest bit of remorse?"
"B..."
"No." Her high heels clicked against the sterilized marble floor, like some terrible rhythm.
So I guess I was facing the music.
------
"Damien looked up at me. 'Um, sir?'
'Please, its Greg.'
'Sir, my pen is out of ink.' I grabbed another one and handed it to him. 'Thank you.'
'Don't mention it.'
He had such a way with words. Me breaking the bad news to him would break his heart. But for now I wanted to watch him-
Damien stood. "Is that what you think of me?"
I smiled. "I think much higher of you than that."
------
Ugh. So many tears. And "thank God you're alive"s and "don't you dare do that ever anything like that again"s and "Oh thank GOD you're alive."s.
How tedious.
Well then. This was short. And left questions.
Bye now.
