I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

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Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. -William Shakespeare.

Now see, can we just pause for a minute? This is normally the part in the story where things either get terrible or amazing. And we're like 20 chapters in, its an appropriate time for an ending, right?

I declare bullshit.

But that doesn't mean my life turned all sucky and I wanted to die and mope and lie in bed all day eating ice cream. (Okay I wanted to do that last thing, but don't we all?)

So life actually stayed the same. Yes, I said it! Something dramatic didn't happen! We had plans for the wedding, but this isn't that chapter. That's still a few weeks ahead. (Thank God. I didn't have everything ready yet.)

Oh yeah, speaking of the wedding, that's a good way to end, right? I live happily ever after and then I eventually re-die and live dead happily ever after.

Okay now that's just stupid. I mean really? I think I could do a little better. And I will. But these sort of things take time.

You see, I am a little antisocial, if you didn't notice. I don't like to go out. I don't really like people. Everyone could dance and sing and play an instrument and I would be standing still.

The world needs more people who stand still. We're what keep them on it's axis. I'm not saying more people should be like me. Shit, have you even read this book? I'm a terrible role model. But there are people who need to keep the world from dancing, to turn in early, the buzzkills who leave the bar before last call, who are still good to drive. I know of like two people like that, and I'm one and the other is dead. (Or is he?)

And I've had time to come up with this whole philosophy shit because, like I said in the beginning, life didn't change. I got an A on my drunken arms paper, if that counts. I cancelled those bulshit counseling sessions.

Oh, another thing I should explain. I'm 20 and getting married. Yeah, this sounds weird, but Beth and I were like that one couple from like fifth grade that the teacher paired and then they ended up being the school's cutest couple. And it's not like I'm getting married because I got her pregnant and it's my moral obligation, (like it should be for all men) I'm getting married because everyone is happy if I leave the house.

Oh yeah, and we "love each other."

You know those tabloids? Like "Ellen and Portia Split! The Shocking Divorce." and "Bruce Jenner's Wife Speaks Out"? And then the stars find out things they didn't know about themselves? Me loving Beth was like that. No but Ellen Degeneres found a tabloid that said that and went on her show and said "What happened to those two? They seemed so happy." Ellen my queen.

I did, in fact, love her. Just not in the romantic sense. In the yes-I'd-cry-at-your-funeral-no-I-wouldn't-throw-myself-down-with-you kind of way.

Life was a wibbly wobbly sort of thing. Like balancing on a tightrope. You could do everything well, and make it across, and everyone would, of course, expect that.

But you could also plummet, and really wow the crowd. And yeah, you might be okay. But you might die, and shut down the act for good.

Let's give them the old razzle-dazzle.

*does Misha Collins jazz hands*

Kisses,

Satan, (The Fear of Falling Apart) Lord of Feels.

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