If you're gay, then you're gay.
Don't pretend that you're straight.
You can be who you are
Any day of the week.
You are unlike the others,
So strong and unique,
We're all with you.
-"Everyone is Gay" A Great Big World.
Nothing excited me anymore. Not college, not writing, not Beth. (Don't even think like that I am saving it for marriage.)
Actually, I kind've liked the idea of dragons.
But anyways, not even the idea of seeing Bianca, Abby, or most of all Patrick could make me smile.
Mkay so y'all probably think he's bisexual or pan...
I checked out with the promise to go to some dumbass support group. "You can even meet a girl!" The doctor said. Well no. Not happening. I was going it off with Beth anyways. It wasn't her, I just didn't like girls as a whole anymore.
"Oh!" You cry. "He's gay!"...
I stayed home every night, writing, or studying. Sometimes reading. "The best writers are voracious readers." -Rick Riordan.
But one night, my roommate, Alex, dragged me out with them. (Gender non-binary.) To a gay bar.
"Alex," I whined. Childish, but necessary. "Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"Yes, but you don't! Come on! Or just come." They winked.
"Alex..." I turned to get back in the car. They blocked me.
"No. You're gonna get laid tonight and you're gonna like it!"
"No I'm not."
The bar was full of men. There was laughter and drinks clinking around and a few unholy scenes in the back and a partridge in a pear tree.
Then I saw it. The gay-dar.
Okay, so this sounds stupid. I mean, I was in a gay bar. There were gay-dars everywhere. But this man was practically his own kind of gay-dar.
"Jack!" I yelled. He looked up and broke out a fabulous smile.
"Damien! What are you doing down here? You said you were straight you were holding out on us!"
"Jack, is Gwen with you?"
"No I was cheating on her." He rolled his eyes. "She's just going to grab some more drinks. But why are you back in Hell?"
"We're on Earth."
"Yeah. We're in Hell. Anyways..." He looked like a schoolgirl who was about to be told who her best friend liked. But that's the thing. I didn't like anyone.
Gwen chose that moment to come back with three cocktails. "I saw you come in! How are you?" She said.
"For not being dead? Pretty okay. The sexuality part I'm having issues with but I'm working it out."
"Men and women? Men? Transgender people? Everyone? Personalities? Dead bodies? Inanimate objects?"
Wait for it...
"None of the above. Except maybe dragons? I don't know, I just can't picture myself in a relationship with someone. Also dragons are extinct. So maybe dead bodies."
Jack merely laughed. "Oh hun. You're asexual!"
Okay so I frequently get asked "How did you find out you're gay?" And I'm so tired of answering this damn question so if anyone ever asks you this you say this: (also works with gender)
The closet is a cold dark place where sexualities battle for dominance. Someone discovers their sexuality when a sexuality destroys the current ruler, straight. Then a message to the brain and unholy areas announcing the news is sent. And thus, a person discovers their sexuality. Sexualities can change if another sexuality beats out the old one.
The End.
