Rich In Love; KilluaxReader

Chapter Nine

I show that I don't notice only because the words Killua said are the only things in my mind. The steps follow in my direction up until they stop right behind me. My heart is racing, 'Killua?' I turn my head ever so slightly to find a presence standing behind me in my peripheral vision. 'It's Gon? Why is he here?'

_"Hey, I heard what happened, are you doing okay?"

-"I just don't understand. What did I do wrong?"

_"I promise you you didn't do anything wrong he just gets like this sometimes. He doesn't want to become close with new people."

-"I get that, but what about me? I don't know, I just thought that we had something more special that other people could only wish for."

_"Look, I know he likes you. Killua's trying to back out of it because he's starting to get scared. If you're careful and protect his emotions there's no doubt he'll fall for you."

-"Really? It's that easy!?"

_"He can seem complicated at some points but he really just is protecting himself so he doesn't get hurt. You should go and talk to him, he said he hasn't been able to sleep since he talked to you."

-"Are you sure, what if I just make it worse?"

_"As long as you tell him how you feel it'll turn out good. I'll stay here so you two can talk it out."

-"Okay, thank you Gon."

As I finish my sentence I start to race up back to Gon's house. My heart is beating faster than ever before, 'I can't have him give up on me.' As I reach the front of the house I can see Killua sitting on the front porch. I start to inch towards him in a cautious stance.

"Hey, what I said earlier.. I didn't mean it."

-"Why'd you say it Kil, we both know for a fact that you could've said anything that would've been better. If you didn't mean it why did you say something that harsh?"

"I felt weird and I thought you wouldn't want to be around someone like me, I've never really had anyone other than Gon so I'm new to this. I'm a horrible friend and I'd probably be an even worse- anyway I'm just trying to say I'm not worth your time. I don't want to hurt you."

-"Killua, you're hurting me more walking away than not communicating. You have no idea how much you've helped me since i've met you, you're the reason I'm alive. So i'm begging you, please don't give up on me now."

Looking back up at Killua he's hiding his face, I can't tell what's going on in his head. I look away realizing how vulnerable my words were. Seconds passing there was just silence. Although, I wasn't uncomfortable. I feel safe and relaxed just being in his presence, 'I don't want him to ever leave my side.' He looks back at me and I look at him wondering what he's going to do next. He stares into my eyes, even through the darkness I can see how blue his eyes are. I open my mouth but have nothing to say, 'What the hell do I do now!?' I lose eye contact getting too nervous but I feel obligated to look back. He's still looking at me, his eyes look so innocent and hurt. As much as I'd love to kiss him he's giving me opposite signals. I feel his pain through his eyes, his presence. I want to help him, I need to help him. I scoot closer without much hesitation and I took him in a big embrace.

Killua moves closer and closer to me letting down his walls for the first time. Too many emotions are surrounding me at once, I start to tear up. I guess he heard me sniffle because he caressed my head in the palm of his hand. I grip onto his sleeve to wipe my tears, but when I finish I don't let go. I just want him to hold me forever. He doesn't seem to want to let go because he pulls me in closer so that my back is to his stomach, arms around my neck like a hug and his legs protecting my cradled body. I feel so relaxed to the point where I start to drowse off to sleep. Killua wakes me before I'm fully limp. I expect him to ask me to get off him but he picks me up and carries me up to Gon's room. He sets me on the bed and starts to walk to his futon, before he walks away I reach out to him and grip his wrist. He turns in confusion but I pull him to show that I want him near me. He realizes just that and starts to lay down in Gon's bed with me. He turns and holds me tight, as much as I wanted to stay awake and cherish the moment I was too weak to stay conscious.