It's currently the afternoon. 1:00 to be exact.
I woke up and my guts feel fucked up. Rearranged.
Y/ns thoughts: Why do I always fuck up? What is wrong with me?
I look over to the side and there he was. Sleeping. Something about him makes me want to wake him up. After the night we had, I think its best to keep him asleep.
I finally get up, brush my teeth and then showered
Y/n: Oh God, what the hell?
I say as im examining my body. They are everywhere. Hickies all down my neck, arms, stomach and thighs, scratch marks across my chest that spelled out his name.
Y/n thoughts: what am I going to do? We are going out today and all of my clothes are revealing.
Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door.
Y/n: Yes?
Mattia: You done?
Y/n: ummm. Yes?
Mattia: open the door then.
I open the door. I mean im fully clothed but in front of him I feel naked. All the things he did to my body, the parts of me he had in his mouth. Ughhh
Mattia: You gonna watch me shower?
Y/n: Ohh no
I walk out and he closes the door. Im sitting on the bed and my feelings are conflicted.
I start talking to myself. About what I need in life, Why i am such a fuck up, and what i am going to eat. Etc
Then the water goes off.
He comes out. His dark wet hair in his face, his smooth torso wrapped in a towel, and his brown eye lashes looking longer because of how the water droplets hung onto them
Mattia: You and I have to talk.
Y/n: Why? Is there a problem?
Mattia: Im just trying to feel where we stand. Are we friends? Are we together? Do we just fuck occasionally? I want something more y/n.
Y/n: My problem is I dont know what love is. I never did. I've been with other people but never felt a connection. I dont want to waste your time and I dont want to waste mine. When you were inside me i felt complete. Something clicked. I feel like I want to be with you but distance is our problem, you like to lie thats another problem, and Your socially problematic. I just dont want to get dragged into anything. I just want love.
Mattia: Im trying to change. Ima be the person you want me to be. You are the person who I feel gets me. You helped me through the Vic mess, through Jenna, through the Jade mess. You helped me through my depression.
Y/n: You need to know that I do want you. There are things we are going to need to work on but you have to understand I am not like the other girls you messed with if i feel you are doing something wrong I will tell you and vise versa. I dont like to argue and fight. I like to communicate got it? Im gonna be the person you call when you have a problem. The person you need at three o'clock in the morning when something bad happens. Im here for you.
Y/n thoughts: why is he crying? Omg did i do something wrong? Oh geez
Mattia:*sobs
Im gonna hold him. He needs me. I go closer to him and I pit an arm around his back and put his head against my chest and I let him cry.
