Chiara [PUBLISHED] ✔️

Twenty-two

Going head to head against Josh over Chiara's affections was not how I planned to spend the last year of high school. Then again, I didn't plan to hook up with the most popular girl in school either.

The encounter with Josh left me feeling on edge and like an outsider. I didn't believe him for a second that he actually erased that tape, but the rest of his words got to me.

I witnessed him and Chiara in the backyard with Mikael. No matter how hard I wanted to prove Josh forced her, she did not look forced. She was enjoying that. And it was time for me to accept it.

There were things about Chiara I didn't know. And those things might stand in the way of our possible relationship.

The thought made my heart jump. I was seriously beginning to think of Chiara as my girlfriend.

I need to talk to you. I typed in the message and sent it to her.

Sure, we're going shopping after lunch. Reina and Maggie are joining us.

Fuck, I didn't want to go shopping with Reina and Maggie. They made me feel insecure and fat. Plus, I wanted to talk to Chiara alone.

I need to talk to you alone. I still feared my honesty would push her away, but I didn't want to be toyed with. And Chiara kept things from me on purpose.

There was obviously more to the story than Josh simply blackmailing Chiara with that goddamn tape. I was already sick to my stomach and I didn't even see the thing.

Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time when those two wander off after glimmering dresses.

I sighed, not sure how to answer. No, I didn't want to talk to her in the middle of a shopping mall. It also made me think she was avoiding the conversation. Come to think of it, she rarely answered the serious questions. All she wanted to do was make out with me.

Finally, I closed the Lermontov assignment. Besides character names, I wrote nothing down. This was useless. My mind was swirling with questions and I couldn't focus on my homework.

The library was empty, everyone was already getting ready for lunch.

I stared at the empty rows of bookshelves. Stress ate at me. The peak of excitement in my life used to be getting an A in algebra. Suddenly, I was digging through schemes and blackmails, pulled in to the strange, unknown world.

Maybe Josh was right. Maybe I would beg him to take over after a month of two. Some people were sown to fit this world, but I wasn't.

Yet I wanted to try so hard. Chiara's smile seemed to be carved into my heart, because each time I remembered it, a dull ache spread through my chest.

She just pulls you in. I remembered the words I said back when I believed Chiara was completely straight, back when I thought this was nothing but an unattainable crush.

It didn't feel like a crush now. It felt like a hurricane that would blast through all my shields and destroy everything in its wake. And I was scared just as much as I craved it.

I wanted her to pull me in, entirely. I wanted to drown in this stupid, dangerous feeling.

Like an idiot, I typed another message: I miss you.

Chiara answered immediately.

Aww, you'll see me in ten minutes, baby!

I glanced at the clock. Shit. I got off the chair and gathered all my stuff. We agreed to meet for lunch and shop afterwards. Absentmindedly, I checked my online banking. Mom promised to send some money so I could buy a proper dress.