•alone•
TW mention of suicide
I was taken..to there base or what ever its called
They left me alone in a cell
I dont know how long I've been here
Probably 4 days..
I hate it here...I hate it when negan comes for me
He makes me...do stuff I don't want to do
He will hurt me..if I do stuff that's wrong..or something that he dosen't like
But to be honest..I like...being alone in this cell..no one can hurt me..well negan can but its safe... I'm safe from the walkers and stuff..
(3 hours later)
I was just sitting in the corner
Alone..in the dark
Then I here the cell door open
Negan comes in
"Hey baby" he says
I look at him then look back at the wall
I feel him walk to me
He puts his hand on my shoulder
"Let's go..somewhere else" he tells me
He grabs my arm and takes me to his room or..place I dont know
To be honest I really don't feel anything like..emotions anymore
He sets me on the bed
"You know the drill" he says
I look over at him and start talking my shirt off
I didn't really want to do this but I have to..so oh well I guess
(10 minutes later)
He finished and started to get ready again
I was just laying here
With watery eyes
Every time when he dose this it makes me want to fight back..
But I just cant
While laying here I feel him play with my hair..
He stops and leaves me
I sit up and see a knife on the book shelf I get up and put it in my back pocket
I sit back down and see negan come back
"Let's take you back to your cell" he says
He puts his arm around me and walks me to the cells
When I get in I lay against the wall and start to cry
I didn't want to deal with this shit any more I dont feel the same...I feel different
My fucking life dosen't matter anymore
I'm just gonna be negans fucking sex doll for the rest of my life
I started crying harder
"Cant I just end it all.." I say to myself
I pull the knife out my back pocket and look at it
I turn my wrist over and start slicing my skin with the knife
I wanted to die..I need to die
This fucking hurt alot
But I didn't care
After a while I saw that it didn't fucking work
I was mad...
So I started cutting again
I think I finally did it...I started to feel dizzy
I fell down the wall and layed down
(2 hours later)
I woke up...in the cell again so.. it didn't fucking work I just NEEDED TO DIE HOW HARD IS IT TO DIE
I Just...I dont know
I get up and look at my cuts
There were 4 cuts
And one of them was deep..
I take my shirt off and wrapped it around my wrist
I guess I have to keep living in this hell
After a while I hear the door open
Some guy comes in
"Here" he says
I just look at him
He must've got annoyed because he came in my cell and threw a sandwich at me
"HERE" He yells
I get up and pull my knife out
He starts to walk out but I pull him bu the neck and kept stabbing
We both fall on the floor I hey on top and kept stabbing him..
He was already dead I dont know why..i kept going
I looked at my hands..and they where bloody
I decided to draw on the wall
I get up and take some of his stuff
He looked bad...I..i made him look bad
I walk out and close the cell door
Im...gonna kill every mother fucker I see
While walking out I see some bikes and people outside walking
I pull out my hand gun and start shooting them they looked confused but one had an AR I picked it up and started shooting again
All I saw was blood on the floor..bodys
It felt good to kill...them I didn't feel sorry
All I felt was anger they deserve it
