john lennon's diary (DO NOT TOUCH)

gay

Dear diary,

 My name is John Winston Lennon and i am a ravenous homosexual. I like to turn into bagels in my free time and hit people over the head with fire hydrants. My favorite color is piss. Coincidentally, that is also my favorite food. I bet you're wondering why I'm telling you all this information. Well, that's because I'm standing behind you. Yes that's right. I'm inside of your house. What're you gonna do? Call the police? That wouldn't help at all because I'm above the law. Anyways, let's go commit arson. Wouldn't that be fun?