john lennon's diary (DO NOT TOUCH)

3

dear diary,

 Lennon here. Lenny . magical nuko len len if you will. Great news! I have herpes! Also, I have become addicted to eating soap. If you know any rehab clinics that specialize in irish spring please let me know. Great new pitbull song just dropped! He is my favorite singer. And, he is my hero. I AM MR WORLDWIDE. Please do not tell my mommy she will get terribly upset. One time I was having an aneurysm and I shat my pants. I didn't die, which is impossible, but it was quite fun. And quite stinky. Lately I've been thinking about the time I went to the circus. I got to feed the elephant, but it did end up biting off my pinky toe (yes I was using my toes to feed it). Also, a clown barfed in my drink which made it taste very flavorful! 

(please click on the external link to hear the new pitbull song)