Hermosa// Quackity x Reader

Pt. 34 What if I don't want to?

Filler Chapter :) The next chapter might be the last... 

I didn't proof read btw :)

Y/n's P.o.v

Since i've stopped streaming and using social media, I think that my fans got the message but it is my job to let them know i'm not going to stream anymore. Now, do I do a tweet? no, that's dumb. I owe my fans a lot, they've been dedicated to watching my content for a few years now, it would be mean of me to just give them a tweet something like: ' hey guys, i've come to the decision to stop streaming from now on. thank you guys so much <3'. They deserve a bit more context. Maybe I should stream one last time to tell them? Yeah that seems like a good idea. 

I got dressed in something other than sweats, and put on some eyeliner. I set up my camera that had remained untouched for a month and a bit. I tweeted the link along with 'One last time..' (that name ring a bell). Within two minutes I had the most viewers I had ever had. It then hit me that no one knew that me and Alex had split up. A lot of people had began to ask 'Where's Alex?' and 'How's Alex?' and 'What does she mean One Last Time?' I felt overwhelmed with emotions. Should I tell them? I turned my camera on, removing the 'starting soon' screen. I forced a smile and then began. 

"Hey chat, so todays a sad day and I hope you guys can understand."

as soon as I spoke chat was filled with, 'what is she talking about' and 'is this the end?' and 'omg did her and Alex break up?'. I gathered my senses and continued, 

"Thank you all so much for following me on this amazing journey, I couldn't have done without you all. Your probably all confused right now. The reason I haven't been streaming in a while is because I have decided to quit streaming. This is because ever since I became more well known and I started dating Alex, my mental health has been really bad, I won't go into too much detail, but I wouldn't eat for days and I would think the most terrible things about myself." Chat began to get out of control, blaming it on Alex, so I asked mods to put it on emote mode only. immediately purple hearts were spammed. "in no way was this Alex's fault at all, so please do not go and send him unnecessary hate. And Alex if your watching, I'm sorry, I really am. I wish-" I stopped myself before I said anything that I wasn't supposed to. I hadn't spoken to Alex since and he may not want to tell everyone yet. But then I got a message.. 

Alex <3

It's ok. you can tell them. 

"Chat give me one second." I put  myself on mute and turned my camera of. 

Alex <3

y/n: what if I don't want to?

Alex's P.o.v. 

Y/n <3:  what if I don't want to? 

What does she mean? Maybe she isn't ready and I guess that's ok but we will have to announce it eventually. 

Alex<3: That's ok. But we will have to eventually.

y/n<3: maybe we don't. 

What was she implying? We can't keep it a secret forever, that just wouldn't work, especially if one of us dates someone else. To be honest I can't see myself dating anyone for a while. I still miss her. Her smile, hearing her giggle. When she spoke to chat previously about her mental health, it hurt me. Why did I never notice that she wasn't eating and that she wasn't ok. Is it all my fault?. 

Alex <3: I don't understand. 

Y/n <3: call me later? 

Alex <3: sure. 

I'm nervous as hell. 

I continued to watch her stream, she didn't mention the breakup. She talked through old memories of her streams and watched some old clips. As she giggled at the clips my heart ached and felt warm at the same time. Towards the end she decided to do some singing, her voice was beautiful, i've heard her sing before but not like this. The last song she sung was Prom Queen by Beach Bunny, she also played the ukulele:

She sounded great. She ended the stream with huge goodbyes and told chat that she loved them. A few minutes later, I got a facetime call, the name highlighted across the screen: 
Y/n <3