Beautiful Boy || Kyle Spencer

chapter |9| safe

the following two weeks were great. it was like a vacation everyday. kyle and i went on dates, went out to dinner, and a ton of other fun stuff. but those two weeks after that was completely different. kyle wouldn't talk anymore and he didn't want to leave the hotel room. often, he would just stay in the shower or bath all day.

he stopped talking so much so that he was starting to loose his speech again.

"i'm gonna go get dinner, do you want to come?"

kyle didn't even look at me, he just turned away from me.

"okay, i'll be back soon."

the truth was, kyle couldn't take it anymore. he was done. he was cutting every chance he got and just didn't really want to be alive anymore.

kyle went into the bathroom and started to cut up his wrists, he didn't cry, he just couldn't cry.

sometimes he would think about bringing that blade to his neck and just end it all. he had yet to fully understand and start to cope with the aftermath of his death and sexual assaults.

"why..why'd she do that to me." he whispered to himself, putting all his anger and sadness into the blade.

"i forgot my b-" i said, looking over at kyle. "what are you doing?"

kyle looked up at me and then just continued as if i wasn't watching him cut his wrists.

"stop. what's wrong?" i said, coming to his side. i tried to grab the blade but he resisted. i kept trying to take it away from him, and when he was tired of this he tried to push me away but accidentally cut my arm.

he dropped the blade.

"oh-no. i'm sorry." he said, tears forming in his eyes as he began to panic.

"i'm not mad." i said, looking down at the blood on my arm. i wasn't mad or scared or anything it was just an accident but it did hurt a little.

kyle began crying as he frantically got up to find stuff to clean up my cut. i pulled his arm for him to sit back down.

"it's okay, it was just an accident."

"i'm s-so sorry." he cried, hugging me. "are you okay?"

i hugged him back, "i'm okay."

i didn't really care about my small cut, all i cared about was what he was doing to himself when i walked in.

when i looked at his arm, i noticed not all of them were from today.

"kyle..how long?"

"i didn't mean to h-hurt you. i'm so sorry." kyle sobbed, he was so afraid that i would be scared of him or that i was genuinely hurting and just lying to make him feel better. he also felt really really bad.

i cupped his face in my hands, brushing my thumb beneath his eyes.

"i know you didn't. it's okay, i'm fine."

kyle knew he'd be apologizing for the rest of his life, though. he felt so badly.

"i hurt you."

"it was only an accident, and it's nothing bad. please don't be upset over this."

kyle ran his fingers through his hair.

"i have to leave, i cant hurt you." kyle said, getting up.

"no, don't leave me please."

i followed him and then turned him around and hugged him. now, i was upset too. i didn't want him to leave me.