in the hands of my abuser

the start of something new

some people ask questions when they aren't sure that there even is an answer. curiosity is curiosity, right? you wonder, ponder, question, infer, guess— all for it to be right or wrong based on someone else's words.

like now.

What do you do when your lost? when your path hits a dead end?

you start over.

you ignore the dead end, you ignore the construction that blocks of your usual path and you make a new one. you dig your way into a new life, you create a new path. you have a fresh start that you can mold, shape, craft, cut and critique to your liking.

you could be more nice, more mean, more bold, more reserved, more risky, you could live life at a slower pace, a faster one. you can mostly figure your life out from there.

you'd think so, huh?

it doesn't always come that easy, go that easy or work out. it depends on how you use the opportunity... and for Tommy, he knew exactly how he was going to do so.

He was going to get out of here, to take a break, to come back as a new person, hoping to be looked at that way as well.

when and how was he going to accomplish this?

that, he didn't know. Tommy would wing it, just take a risk and hope for the best, that's what he has always done and for the most part, it went pretty well.

right?

by now, his stuff was packed and ready for the journey, ready for the adventure, the new use and new life. it was all so thrilling, it brought more adrenaline than anything. the thought of a new life, not hated, not hurt— it felt as if things could finally be better, easier even.

Tommy dragged his feet through the overgrown grass that swayed softly in the mild winds. peering up, he said his last goodbyes to this place he once called home before turning on his heel and slipping away into the darkness, letting it engulf him as he traveled further and further away from any sources of light.

The tall male was well aware of what he was giving up, what he was sacrificing. it seemed worth it. his own best friend had practically replaced him, his home has been picked apart and carelessly damaged, his hotel had been stolen by his own employee. what did he have left?

trauma? pain?

was he supposed to thrive off that? live off that? he couldn't, he's done it for so long. it all seemed worthless now, to fight for. especially when there's nothing left to do so.

after all, it was never meant to be.

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:)