No Turning Back (Rewrite)

Chapter 28

White light blinded my vision. Bits of gray swirled around the bright void, roaming around in gentle whistles. My body was non-existent. It was just me and the empty space I'd fallen into. Oddly, I remembered this place. I'd fallen here once before. But it was different then.

Before, it took a lot of pain. A bit of crying. A few drops of blood.

I tried not to think of it. When it didn't leave scars, I thought I'd never have to.

Yet, here I was again.

But with no pain. Some tears. An orange bottle.

Another instance to push to the very back of my mind. Another memory to ignore. Another crack to repair in whatever was left in this shell of a human.

A tiny sound echoed through the void, seemingly calling my name. Mentally scoffing, I turned away. I put additional distance between the sound and I, desperate to silence it. It threw me an imaginary rope, silently begging for me to follow. I refused.

I continued moving father and farther away until the tiny sound was nothing more than a whisper.

I didn't want to go back. Not yet. I'd deal with the ruins of my life later. For now, I just wanted to enjoy the silence.

And it was peaceful, the tiny little void. No intrusive thoughts. No parents telling me I was a disappointment. No teammates calling me names. No assholes of society asking for me to prove my worth.

But it was lonely too. No little brother jumping on my bed. No best friend to play basketball with. No boyfriend to kiss and hold.

Those were the only reasons I decided to take the little rope and slowly find my way back to reality. A short list, sure. But they were the only things that mattered.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

As the sound grew louder, so did the weight of my body. The white waves around me grew heavier and heavier. Tiny cracks emerged. With every step, they stretched in length – threatening to break the safe haven. The thought brought black butterflies to my stomach. Still, I pushed on.

When the ceiling finally caved, the bricks collapsed like a waterfall onto me. I felt the impact of every brick as they piled on to one another.

The pain came all at once. I couldn't pinpoint where it'd started. All I knew was that it hurt like a bitch.

Despite the pain, the sounds came more clearly. The subtle beeping of a monitor. The quiet shuffling of papers. Soft pads of sneakers.

Slowly, I opened my eyes. As expected, I was met with the blinding fluorescent lights in the ceiling. A groan escaped my lips as I squinted.

I heard a soft gasp of relief. In an instant, a pretty woman with a head full of blonde-brown curls and gentle lime green eyes appeared. She smiled down at me. "Hello, Daniel," she replied.

"Dr...Dr..." I tried to mutter her name, but my brain was still foggy. My vision of her spun in circles, multiplying her across the space.

"Shh, it's alright."

The equipment in the room spun and swayed as I attempted to glance around. "Hospital," I whispered. "Why...? Why hospital...?"

Her brows came together. "What's the last thing you remember?"

My mother's apathetic words. Driving down the road. Looking in the mirror. The orange bottle on the bathroom counter. Yet, all I could say was "Sleep. I...just wanted...to sleep."

"Oh, Daniel," she murmured. "You can sleep now, okay? Close your eyes and get some rest."

"And you...you'll..."