No Turning Back (Rewrite)

Chapter 8

For the first time in a while, I was at a loss for words. I stared at the typed essay in front of me, reading and re-reading paragraphs. Honestly, I wasn't quite sure what I was reading. The structure of the paragraphs was so jumbled and disorganized. One minute, I was reading a well-written topic sentence. The next, I was dissecting a run-on sentence filled with rants and random quotes. The ideas we'd discussed last week were evident in his paper, but it wasn't as cohesive as we'd planned it.

I twirled my pen in my hands, contemplating where and how to start making corrections and feedback on his paper. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but this essay needed a lot of work.

"It's garbage, isn't it," Jayden asked.

I glanced at him. "It's not garbage, it's...it's just a work in progress."

"Hm."

Reluctantly, I started underlining sentences and writing comments in the margins. "How's my paper?"

"Perfect...as usual." He tossed my unmarked paper towards me. He watched as I filled his paper up in green ink. "Is my paper really that bad?"

"It's not bad. Your ideas are there, but your organization is off." I pointed to a paragraph. "Here, your topic sentence is really strong. But the textual evidence isn't well explained or introduced. There's a mix between your opinion and inserting quotes. There should be a formulaic structure to that. Usually, you write your topic sentence, then slowly introduce the quote with context from the novel, insert the quote, and then explain the quote. The explanation is thus followed with more of your opinion. Now that there's support, it'll hold up better."

"Oh...okay." He tilted his head. "So...how do I fix it?"

I scooted my chair closer to his and lay his paper on the desk space between us. "Let's start here," I circled his topic sentence. "Strong transition into the topic of this paragraph. Keep this. Here, you give some background into her husband's role in the novel. I'd give a bit more to give the reader a well-rounded explanation of who he is and the part he plays in the story. Next, you start rambling about how Edna views him as a restraint. This is a good opportunity to introduce your first quote. Perhaps give some context about the scene in which this quote appears. Then insert your quote." I circled the quote he'd typed. "Afterwards, further explain what the quote means and how it relates to your stance."

Jayden looked confused. A wrinkle had formed between his brows, and his lips were pulled into a small frown. "...okay..."

"Did you have Mrs. Stanton for English 9? She practically beat this into our heads."

Jayden averted his gaze. "Yeah."

"Yes, you did have her?"

He didn't respond.

I sighed. "Is writing difficult...for you?"

"If you didn't notice already, English class as a whole is difficult for me."

"Why is that?"

"I'm not very bright," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that's not true. I watched you fix my car battery. Obviously, you're an intelligent and competent human being."

"All I did was hook up a few electrical cables and start up a truck. It's not difficult."

"I beg to differ. I don't know where the electrical cables are supposed to go. If I would've tried to restart my battery, I would've electrocuted myself."

Jayden almost smiled. "That would be hilarious."

"Fuck you."

He chuckled.