No Turning Back (Rewrite)

Chapter 18

He tasted like mint leaves and cinnamon sugar. A hint of rain still lingered on our lips, the water adding some moisture to our kiss. Beneath my trembling, desperate lips, his were calm and steady. Easily, they took control of my clumsy, uneven kisses. His hand clasped around the back of my neck, steadying my movements. I paused for a moment, expecting him to push me away. Instead, he slowed our rhythm and established cautious, tender kisses.

Relaxing, I allowed my hands to inch towards his body. One hand traveled into his hair while the other held his shoulder. His soft ringlets curled around my fingers as I ran my hand through his dark locks. I took the opportunity to push back his bangs and gently hold them between my palm.

A soft moan erupted from my chest, waking me from his lips' spell. My eyes shot open. What the fuck was I doing? I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I couldn't do this. Not with him.

Hastily, and a bit too roughly, I pushed him away. "Sorry," I yelled. "I'm so sorry!"

His brows came together. "What?"

I stood up and threw off the blankets around me. "I need to leave."

"What? Daniel, stop."

I dodged his hands as I searched for my hoodie. I grabbed it from off the floor and ducked under his arm. "I have to go."

He followed me to the door, his hands still reaching for my wrists. "Go where? It's still raining outside. Let me give you a ride."

"No! I can walk."

"You're going to catch a goddamn cold! For fuck's sake, will you stop?"

"I'm sorry. I'll see you on Monday."

I slammed the door behind me. The rain poured down on my body. I barely noticed the shivers it brought. I was too busy running down the dark sidewalks, anxious to put as much distance as I could between me and the green-eyed boy.

On Sunday, I wallowed in my misery. I lay in bed all day with my head crushed into the pillow and my covers pulled over my head. I locked my room door and turned off my phone. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even Donnie. He shouldn't see me like this.

My blood boiled at the memory of kissing Jayden. I couldn't decide whether it was in desperate heat or shameful anger. I wished I could punch myself in the face. How could I do something so fucking stupid? There were too many risks with Jayden. He was too damn close to the world I'd just repaired my mask for. What if he told someone in school that I'd kissed him? The rumor would spread like a virus. Everyone would know by the end of the day, including my basketball teammates. I could already picture the disgusted looks and endless insults that would be thrown my way. Justin would have a fucking field day.

Or what if Jayden didn't want to be my friend anymore? The thought made my heart sink more than the others. I'd come to truly enjoy his company. Though our friendship was still new, we had fun together. The weekend when we spent the afternoon in my house was filled with jokes, video games, and playful arguments. We went toe to toe in 2K20, and I beat Jayden's ass. He insisted I was cheating.

"No, you just suck," I'd told him.

His ass kicked me off the couch. "Keep talking shit and you can meet me in the street."

"Oh, so I can kick your ass out there too?"

He glared at me. "You're gonna have to throw hands with me," he said. "I bet you won't be talking shit after that."

We did end up taking our basketball rivalry outside. Jayden was a lot better on the concrete than he was in the video game. I still dunked on him though. He wasn't that good.