Sein Engel | Bucky Barnes ✔️

43. Eccedentesiast

Tw: cutting, burning

A D E L A I D E

Me and Bucky started heading back to his room as I wanted to be in my own space for awhile before seeing everyone again. I didn't want to come off as different to them but I would be lying when I say this as I'm not actually the old me anymore I've gone through pain no other young girl or boy my age who had there memories wiped, getting fluids into you making you a super soldier like Bucky, getting abuse everyday with little food, almost getting raped and abuse by three guys and mostly losing a child through it all.

The teens that do I understand the pain.

I wonder if the camera in the hospital room had speakers where they could listen in? Does Bucky know about the miscarriage or is he in the dark about it like I was until an hour and a half ago before I was rudely hand cuffed to the table and a fucking hydra agent triggered my mind.

I laid on Bucky's bed before he took of his shoes getting in beside me as I lift my head to rest on his chest as he rubs circles around my back.

"Bubs" I whispered loud enough for him to hear as he turns to me as look up at him. He hums. I started to tear up just incase he would be mad but I don't have reason as to why he would be mad of me getting pregnant and telling him I lost because of the abuse I had over the past month.

"Hey...hey" he says as he wipes the tear away. "what's wrong Engel. tell me" I hold back another sob as I try not to go straight to the point but I did.

"O...our ba..by is.... de...dead, Bucky" I sobbed into his chest as he looks at me with sadness and pity in his eyes as he tries to hold back his tears from the news which from his reaction he didn't know. "I..it hurts so much..I c..can't breath. I can't do worse okay." At this point I was full on crying on top of Bucky straddling him but he doesn't mind he just holds me as his head buried on my shoulder feeling my shirt getting wet from his tears from not be able to hold it in anymore. ".. Bucky it hurts" I cried out.

I don't know what Bucky is thinking right now but all I know he hasn't left the room yet so that's a sign. Right?

Bucky didn't need to say anything right now, all I want is for him to stay with me and hold me to let me take away all my pain. Is it bad that I want a rough make out session?

Yes it is

What you going to do about it if I do?

I can't do nothing but I can give you nightmares

You wouldn't

Oh but I would I so very would

Bitch

That's my name don't wore it out

Ok not the conversation I would ever have but any who me and Bucky stayed like that for a few hours as I play with his dog tag around his neck. I haven't fallen asleep yet but I lifted my head for a second to see Bucky asleep. For once, he slept first. I lay in the dark, listening to his breathing, stealing a little of his warmth as my own body cooled. Since he was asleep, I stroked his hair. What has this man done to me?

"I love you" I murmured. "I love you so much, I'm stupid about it" with a sigh, I settled down and closed my eyes and willed my mind to empty putting only happy thoughts of me and Bucky before dosing off.

What Adelaide doesn't know but Bucky underneath her smiled into the dark. He never slept first.

~*~

Few hours went by when I notice the clock saying 7:36pm as I flutter my eyes open to see a sleeping bucky still as I took this chance to actually look at him but it was hard from the closed blinds in the room and the light off so I reached my hands up and traced out his facial features starting from the his eyebrows to his eyes to his jaw line and leaving the best to last his soft pink lips.