Everybody Finds Out

Part 13

It was absolutely killing Lindsey inside, not being able to talk to Stevie, knowing what she was going through. He told her, she didn't have to do anything if she rather stayed in her room, but being the professional that she was, she said, I'm fine, and got into the recording booth. Lindsey wanted to say something, do something, but he couldn't with John and Mick around. He knew, she wouldn't be pleased if he brought their personal problems into the band. It was no longer the 70's. 

The unfinished argument between Stevie and Lindsey definitely contributed to her fantastic vocal performance. She channeled her emotions through the song they were currently working on and the British members of the band didn't have a clue, they simply praised her on doing a wonderful job. It pained Lindsey, hearing her voice crack a few times, though. He hurt her, she was struggling because of him. 

At some point, Stevie asked for a break. She walked out of the room, leaving the men alone. Lindsey took the time to think back. He realized that they'd never truly talked about what had happened. When he initially told her, she instantly pushed him away. She didn't listen to him, when he repeated time and time again, how sorry he was, that he'd never meant for it to happen and how much he loved her. She didn't hear any of it. She was completely heartbroken and he understood. He'd never quite found the right time to bring it up later on if there even was a right time. The walls she'd built around herself, began to crumble, when Harry was born and gradually, they grew closer again. He didn't want to ruin it. The conversation was long overdue, that was obvious, Lindsey just wondered if there was still a way to fix the damaged that had been done.

"What's going on?" Mick asked, when John left as well. Stevie was taking longer than she'd said, she would.

"Nothing." Lindsey shrugged, sitting hunched over.

"Could have fooled me." Mick rolled his eyes. "Just this morning, you two were attached at the hip, sickly sweet. Now, you can barely stand to look at each other."

"Everything's fine." Lindsey sighed, keeping to his promise to not to share the personal issues. 

"Which one has fucked up this time?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lindsey inhaled sharply. "Who do you think?"

"My bet's on you, mate." Mick responded honestly, to which he received a nod. "You've got to stop playing with her."

"I'm not playing, Mick. Everything was fine. I don't want to talk about it." Lindsey said, turning away from his friend and did so just in time before Stevie returned. 

They stayed together for a couple of hours more, until Stevie's voice began sounding a little hoarse. She didn't want to overdue it and everyone agreed. John and Mick retreated to their rooms shortly. Lindsey decided to stay a while longer and Stevie lingered, busying herself with whatever, until it was just the two of them.

"I didn't mean to just blurt those things out, Lindsey." Stevie said, catching Lindsey's attention. "But you have to understand that it's something I've been holding in for a very long time."

"I do understand. In a way, I'm glad you did come out with it. Clearly, we should have talked about it a good while back." He replied, looking at her from his seat as she stood in front of him. 

"Are you mad at me?" She asked, casting her eyes down.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Lindsey stood up and reached for her hands.

"I'm not mad, I... I don't know, how I feel to be honest." Stevie sighed, allowing him to pull her into his arms. "I'm hurt, sad, disappointed..."

"I know that it's my fault. I'll take everything you throw at me, but please-" He drew back and cradled her face in his hands. "Just talk to me. I can't turn back the time, but I want you to tell me everything you had to go through. I thought, I understood, but I'm thinking that I actually don't."

"I don't think you do." Stevie shook her head. "I don't think that you understand, how completely worthless and exchangeable I felt."

His heart stung and he embraced her once again. "I'll come to you later tonight, okay?"

"Okay." Stevie agreed and pulled away from him. 

She couldn't let him console her much longer, she needed some time, however short it might be, away from him. She couldn't lose herself in those beautiful blue eyes, she had to get everything off her chest first.