Love at the Sea

Twelve: Kaleikoa

Lei looked more and more worried as we swam closer and closer to the deep, "Lei, we can always just body board." She looked at me, smiled and said, "No, I want to surf." Even though her eyes keep saying 'I wanna go back to shore, I'm so scared.'

Then finally we got with the rest of the family they were all talking about playing chicken at the pool later. While everyone kept laughing and making jokes Lei just stayed still. "Who wants to ride that wave?" Kanoe yells then Kai says, "That has my name all over it.."

Then Makana cuts him off and says, "Whoever get there first gets it." Immediately Makana, Kai, Kanoe and I started to paddle to get to the wave. In the end though Kanoe got the wave, as we were all paddling back Makana says, "Look at Lei, maybe bringing her surfing wasn't such a good idea."

I look at Lei and she's just staring at the shore then on occasion will either talk to her mom or mines. Kanoe then says, "We just need to get her to a wave, once she starts surfing she'll feel better." We all nodded in agreement and when we all finally reached her Kai says, "Let's all catch some waves," everyone starts cheering and when I look at Leilani she wasn't even smiling.

She swam farther out with us anyways. She caught a couple good waves and every time she rode them perfectly. Until she caught a big wave the brought her all the way to the shore.

We waited for her to come back into the water and join us again because she was having so much fun, so we thought. She got out of the water and yelled, "I'm going to get breakfast and then to the pool."

With that she walked away. "Was she not having fun?" We all looked at each other and shrugged, it really looked like she was having so much fun, what happened?

I swim back to shore and planted my board into the sand. When I get to the dining room I easily spotted her; she had three plates: one with bacon, one with rice and one just to take portions and eat them.

I grab a plate and sit next to her and started to eat to. I thought she would object but she just looks at me and then continues eating.

"I shouldn't have learned how to surf," she finally says. I look up to see tears streaming from her face. "What are you talking about? I know you wanted to surf, I know how much you wanted to not be the only one body boarding."

I wish she didn't have to cry and feel sad. It looked like she was trying to show us how much fun she was having but I saw deep inside she wasn't having that much fun. I wonder why. "Why..." she said, "Why was Makana yelling at you..."

She wiped a tear then continued, "Why was she yelling at you yesterday?" After she looked directly into my eyes, she saw shock and hurt and she flinched. "Sorry," she mumbled.

I wasn't the one who saved her. 

I saw her drowning and the day that Makana got bitten came back and shocked me into just staring at her. I

watched her sink.

I was scared, like before. I just watched, I watched as Derek jumped into the water to save her.

I watched as Coach help Derek bring her to shore. I watched as Chelsea got my phone and called my mom. I couldn't do nothing but watch.

When Makana yelled at me it felt like when Lei yelled at me before. Before it was my fault, this time it was my fault again. Both times I was useless, both times it should have been me.

When Makana was yelling at me, she came and Derek told her what happened. She told Aunty Pua and I got yelled at by her too.

She sat there waiting, "It was because I couldn't save you," I said.

All Lei did was nod.

A single nod, no words, her face didn't change her eyes still blank.

She just sat there.

What was she thinking I wanted to know but I couldn't see her thoughts through her blank eyes. "Lei? Please say something," I pleaded.

She opened her mouth then closed it. Then opened it again. "You know why I fainted?"

I shook my head and she continued, "Because I found out just approximately 24 hours before that, that I was moving schools and on top of that everyone knew about it.

Then I found out it wasn't just Mid-Pac and Punahou that wanted me. Then on top of everything I realized this was my last year....Last year of high school, last year we were going to be in the same school.

Last prom, last 18th birthday, last everything and I was moving schools. Why me?" She asked as tear start to stream again.

I got up and hugged her, "I'm so so sorry." I looked at her and all I wanted to do was kiss her, it looked like she needed it to but it didn't feel appropriate so all I did was hugged her.

Hugged her until she stopped crying.

After she was done crying she asked me, "Are you gonna miss me?"

Miss you, of course. You're my best friend, family and I love you. "Yes, of course! Didn't I tell you I love you?" She smiled her sweet innocent smile, "I know, just making sure."

God, I really do love this girl!