The Price of Perfection (editing)

Chapter 4

I walked up onto the stage, watching the drunks and soon-to-be-drunks loudly roaring at each other. I wasn't really a big fan of singing in public but I took some comfort in the fact that most of them would be too engrossed in the alcohol or their conversations to even hear me. Just another girl with a forgettable voice and forgettable face. Nothing special.

As I started singing, as always, it came as a bit of a shock how lifeless I sounded. It was as if my voice had already gone through all the auto-tuning and perfecting so that the voice that came out was perfectly pitched and hit every note, but didn't have any soul. I sounded like nothing more than just another voice.I had written a few of my own songs but they were all too sad to be sung here; too personal to be opened up to the world.

Amongst the others who occupied the bar, it wasn't too hard to find him. He had come quite a few times before and it was because of how much he contrasted the setting that I noticed him. Expensive suit, confident figure, piercing eyes. Basically a man with some money about him. Not many of those were seen in a run-down, back alley bar like this. After doing some covers I had practiced to perfection, I thanked everyone and stepped off the stage. The man's eyes continued to follow me and I could feel his gaze burning into the back of my head as I collected my things and walked out the door.

A dark alley; rubbish flowing out of bins; looming building above. The familiar sight made fear creep into my mind as always. You could disappear here and nobody would notice. Even if they did, they wouldn't care. I inwardly groaned as I realised for the second time today, I was being stalked. My pace quickened and my hand automatically gripped my bag tighter. Still all too aware of the clicking of shoes behind me I struggled to navigate my way of the maze of alleyways. My breath came out as pants and still I refused to look back lest the stalker become aware that I was trying to get away. After a few moments of repeatedly cursing under my breath as I struggled to find familiar ground, I realised that if was going to be mugged it would have happened ages ago. I had passed through multiple dark, empty streets and nothing had happened. Taking a deep breath, I turned around.

I found myself face to face with the man I had noticed earlier in the bar. Up close, he looked younger than I had previously thought and I realised he was probably in his mid-twenties. He looked out of breath and I thought he most likely wasn't accustomed to chasing people down, usually it would be the other way around. I still didn't know what he wanted so I said " Is there any reason to why your following me?"

"You don't recognise me?" I studied him closely and thought that he did look vaguely familiar but I couldn't quite place him. Looking at my confused expression he added, " Well I suppose I have been out of the scene for quite a while. It just shows you how fast the music business travels. A week or two with no new story and your forgotten...". He looked as if he was talking to himself but after after an obvious cough from me he came back to earth.

" Anyway, my name is Peter Payne, owner and founder of SilverSun music company". He kept looking at me with an excited expression on his face but noticing the lack of recognition on mine his eyes dimmed a little. Clearing his throat he continued.

"Well, I suppose my company did only start recently, and we don't really have any music that has been top of the charts yet, but I think that can all change! I must say, your voice is incredible. Completely pitch perfect. Now don't worry, I'm not offering you a record deal or anything - yet, but I would love to see what your voice sounds like in a studio. If your interested, call me".

I looked down at his hand. There was a professional looking card in it and he didn't seem like the shady type so I quickly snatched it out of his hand. Peering down at the card, it came to me.

"You're, you're Alan Payne's son?"  He grimaced at me and something I couldn't quite make out flashed in his eyes.

"Um, yes moving on. Would you be interested in the offer?" he avoided looking me in the eye and I caught on that something was wrong. I knew what it felt like to have a dysfunctional family though, so I didn't pressure him into answering. Ha! Like I even could if I wanted to, with the crap day I've been having.

"I'll think about" my voice came out much steadier than I was expecting it to be and I was grateful. Then after we said our farewells I walked away as calmly as I could while inside I was screaming "Crap! This is not happening!".

I was still buzzed as I entered my apartment and  winced as the door creaked behind me. I was happy, for once, and I didn't want my mother to take even that away from me.

"Speaking of the devil!" my mother exclaimed. Except it sounded a bit more like Shpeek o da devvvlll because of her drunkenness. I rolled my eyes and prayed she wouldn't get into one of her episodes now. I really was not up for it.

"Hello Lillian" I never called my mother 'mom' or any of that crap. She didn't deserve the title and Lily didn't suit her at all. A lily was a beautiful fragile flower, nothing like the disgusting person that was draped unceremoniously on the couch.

"I wash jusht tellin' Brendan here watta meshed up daughterrr I haf when you walked rrright in..." she seemed to find this funny."Turrsh out, he has th-th-threee little bratsh himself, da poor lad!"

It was just then that I vaguely saw a figure underneath the mess that was my mother. He was sitting up with her in his lap and even I could see how uncomfortable he was. He tried to find a way to get up but my Lillian was having none of it. I grimaced as I watched my mother pout like she was 16, not 34. The one thing I was grateful for in life was that she wasn't my biological mother. It made me happy to think that her messed up blood wasn't running through my veins.

The man raised a hand for me to shake and I could see that he wasn't half bad. At least compared to all the other losers my mother dated. It was obvious he didn't know what he was up against when he met my mother. But she had a way of putting on different characters. I mean, how do you think we survived all the social services and stuff over the years. When her mind was up to it, she could get you to do anything she wanted.

When it finally became I wasn't going to shake a hand that had been anywhere near her, he simply said " I'm Brian by the way". Poor dude. Lillian didn't even know his name. I walked past him and into my room. I felt sorry for the guy so I called out " Give it about ten minutes, when she passes out you can make a run for it!" I laughed a laugh devoid of all humour. It was cold and empty, just like me. Not waiting for an answer, I shut the door.

A/N. Okay I realise how bad this is so I won't mind (too much) if you tell me it's absolute rubbish. Peace out >=)