The Price of Perfection (editing)

Chapter 15*

(A/N)  on the side are all covers I made for this story, I really think I need a new one so pretty pretty please could u leave a comment or PM me to tell me which one u like best? Thx!!!! 

I felt cold snowflakes rest on my eyelashes before melting into cold raindrops. My jeans were drenched in as I knelt in a fluffy pile of snow. Tears leaked out of my eyes and this time, I didn't stop them. I knew that nobody was going to see me here so I let them flow, letting out a strangled sob.

I only cried harder when I realised that. After all it was true, nobody cared enough to come and find me.

My fingers were past numb and I struggled to wipe the steady flow of tears, so I let them drip off my chin, creating a steady pattern that only my twisted mind could find comfort in. Somehow it felt refreshing to just let it all out.

My eyes had finally rid themselves of the load they had been carrying around and any stray tears had either fallen to the ground or frozen on my cheeks. With no care of freezing to death in my soaked pants - after all, that was the least of my worries at the moment - I thought back to this morning.

I just wanted to forget everything, I wished he had never come back. I knew that wasn't going to happen though. A part of me wished I had listened to more of what he had said, listened to enough to know why he had left. 

I just couldn't stop myself. I cringed when I thought back to the words I had said - more like shouted - at him, and the names I called him. it was probably enough for him to go back to ignoring me and living whatever life he did now. 

But my thoughts were constantly contradicting themselves. As much as I wished he had never come back, there was another part just as prominent that wanted me to hold on to him and never let go.

I wanted to scream so bad, to just let go of everything, all my worries. 

But then I thought of something better.

*                *                *

I ran my fingers along the smooth new guitar, electric guitar. The main body was black but with lines of silver running though it and some gold ones too. It was beautiful, but I knew I would never be able to afford it. Looking at the price tag just made me cringe.

I sighed and moved on, looking at the second hand ones. I had a bit of money saved up from working at the bar - which I was probably fired from after not showing up for three days - and the corner shop.

There was one that particularly caught my eye. It was old and battered but nothing was missing. I liked how the guitar had a story to tell. 

It was ready to bargain with the owner to get it down to a reasonable price but she surprised me with a price way below what I had expected.

"b- but....eh?"

"I'm not gonna get a better price for that one anyway. A pretty lass like you might as well have it" she gave a hearty laugh that made me smile too. "And you'll want to change out of those clothes too!" she said, while muttering about 'children these days'.

I laughed at that as I realised how right she was. For the first time in my life I was witnessing snow in Galway. It wasn't that it never snowed here, it's just that because we were right next to the ocean it just melted as soon as it hit the ground.

I definitely wasn't wearing the right clothes for this weather. A pair of soaked jeans, tank top and a thin jumper on top. With the wind and everything it was a miracle I hadn't frozen to death yet!

A smile still plastered on my face, I slowly walked towards the Bar. I wasn't going to go as far as beg for my job back, but I was at least going to try.