The Price of Perfection (editing)

Chapter 14

For the second night in a row I was lying on an uncomfortable bed with no sign of sleep. I knew that if I looked in the mirror I would see bruised looking bags under my eyes and bloodshot eyes. But somehow, everytime I lay down to sleep, it just didn't come!

I got up and walked around our room, yup me and Lillian were back to sharing a room. Well, at least for now. Our insurance payed for the damage but since the had pretty much destroyed everything in the apartment I knew we couldn't go back there. And now pretty much all we had were the clothes on our back.

I watched my mother silently sleeping on the bed opposite. She looked so peaceful, as if nothing was bothering her. And suddenly I was angry. After all, it was her boyfriend that left us homeless. It was her boyfriend that burned our freakin' apartment so why did we have to suffer? Where was he now?

Getting angry wasn't helping me sleep at all so I was about to get up to reach for my guitar. Oh yeah, that was also burnt. I remembered first getting it, how excited I was. I had been saving up for months even for a cheap 50 euro one but I had been happy nevertheless. And now it was just gone. 

With sleep still clouding my thoughts I knew that there was no way I was going to sleep now. So getting my only jumper from the couch I gently closed the door and walked outside.

I remember I used to love getting up in the mornings when I was younger. I had always been a morning person and so was my dad. At least back before he left. We used to go down to the park and sit on the bench by the sea, everything looked so beautiful and calm because everyone else was still sleeping.

I went back there once, only once, without him. But it just wasn't the same. Even though we didn't really talk while we were sitting there it was a comfortable silence. As if we were just taking in everything going on around us.  

Tears suddenly sprang to my eyes but I hastily wiped them away. I didn't want to relive all the good memories of him, because I always came back to the bad ones as well. The memories of him leaving us. The momories of him leaving me.

I was wandering around aimlessly, and decided that I hid away for long enough. I wasn't going to stop going places just because of my dad. He was the one that left me, not the other way around. It wasn't as if I had had a choice in the matter.

Before I knew it, I was already at the beach, well not really a beach. It was just kind of a few metres of sand and then just rocks. I went over and sat on the bench where so many good memories had been made.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and just smelt the ocean-air washing over me.

I loved this place.

*              *              *              *

I opened my my eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them in a desperate attempt to clear the blur. 

When I could finally see properly I gasped at the sight before me. The light was awash with yellows and oranges as the sun steadily rose in the sky. I smiled at the sight and stretched out my tired muscles. Thinking back to last night I realised that I had fallen asleep on the bench. I was far from well-rested but somehow I felt refreshed.

A gilr walking some dogs walked by me, all the while giving me strange looks. Honestly, I didn't care one bit, just gave her a wide smile which only resulted in her walking a bit faster. 

Great, I was scaring poeple now.

I ran a hand through my hair only for it to get stuck half-way through. I sighed and got to untangling it. I sighed and realised how much of a mess I must look like. My hair was clean but tangled to a point where no brush could fix; my clothes were stiff and dirty becuase I had to sleep in them; and I hadn't eaten properly in quite a while because I was too busy worrying about where we were going to live.

All in all, I looked like crap. And that was being nice. 

Then I saw what made me wake up in the first place. 

"It's beautiful isn't it?" 

"You should know, I've told you that enough times"

"Yeah, that you have" said the voice that made tears spring in my eyes, but I didn't let those tears fall. He wasn't worth it. Not after what he did.

"Isn't this the moment that I'm supposed to tell you 'you're dead to me' or something?" I said, I was surprised at how steady my voice came out considering how much I was shaking inside.

"Ha" I could almost hear the smirk in his voice "You never were one for cliche, eh". A long silence followed this and we just sat there. The whole beautiful sunrise and nice windy weather should have made for a comfortable silence but there was nothing comfortable about this. Tension hung thick in the air and when I finally thought I wouldn't be able to hold in my tears, I got up.

I took the biggest possible steps I could take wihout actually running, but even before I heard the footsteps behind me I knew there would be no running away. I stopped so fast that I nearly fell over. I wouldn't run away like he had. 

And I wouldn't let him either....not this time.

I slowly turned around, knowing he was standing right behind me. I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes. I looked at a face that had haunted so many of my nightmares, after all, he was the one who caused them.

There, after four years, I looked at my dad. The same Dad who I had been told was dead a months ago.

OMG! OK, I have to admit, that came as much as a surprise to me as it was to you! To be honest, half the time I actually have no idea where this story is going, but im gonna try and write some kind of plan...eventually....probably not:)

Btw, i really wouldn't mind at all if u voted, commented or followed.....u know, just sayin'!

And I might just upload as soon as I get 30 reads as well O.O <3