Only When You're There

Part 9

Second Chapter of today. I hope you have a fantastic day. Okay I wanted to let you guys know I've had a lot of the story so far written in advance(that includes this part), but now I'm going to have to start writing and editing new parts. So the uploads are probably going to be spaced out a bit more.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drews POV

"Drew, I don't know how to keep going."

Oh my god. I knew Danny was depressed but I had no clue it was this bad. I mean he was cutting but that doesn't always mean you want to kill yourself right? What if he hadn't come to visit me? What if I hadn't found out that he was cutting? What if he killed himself because no one noticed he was struggling? I didn't really want to know the answers to those questions. I swallowed hard then said, "Danny, I think you need to get help."

"I can't. I just can't." I couldn't force him to go to counseling, rehab or to see a doctor but I wish there was something more I could do.

"Ok."

"I'm sorry. I'm such a burden."

"You're not a burden, don't ever think that." Danny sat there crying. It hurt me on such a deep level knowing that he wanted to truly die. "Danny what can I do to help you?"

"I don't know. I just don't know. I do want help but... ugh! I don't know."

"Hey, it's okay."

"It's not okay though I'm not okay. No matter what I do I'm never good enough."

"Danny that's not true. You matter, you are worth it."

"Can we maybe just not talk about this right now?"

"Sure, do you want to go back to my house?" 

"Not really."

"Do you want to keep hiking?"

"Sure."

Danny was falling apart, but I don't know how to help. I started a conversation about a weird thing a fan had sent me, I hoped it would distract from everything and we talked about things people sent us all the way to the fall. 

In all honesty I felt like I was in a daze. I could respond I mean I was there for him but, my thoughts were in other places. I couldn't rap my mind around the fact that my best friend could be dead and not here. In a way his suffering was makin me suffer just as much as him. But I could never let Danny find out. For the first I could see why Danny went to cutting.