Photograph

Three

BILLIE'S POV

"I think I wanna be more than that."

After I had mumbled that, the bus fell silent, so I could hear mom and Finneas talking to each other. She was now awake and roaming around the bus, mingling with the driver.

This usually happens. And, when it does, I don't fucking care because they usually talk about shit like the new album or the fact we're now in Florida. But, something about it that was so different was...

They were talking about me.

Me and Alex both exchanged looks. She was thinking what I was thinking.

"She's growing up. Let her just... Be."

"But, mom-"

"Please, Finneas."

Ugh. I hate when they talk about me, because it's usually us talking about others.

Truth be told, I'm so fucking lonely, dude.

I can't do anything or go anywhere normal without someone wanting a picture or someone saying my name. I can't go hiking with my family without cameras up in my face or the burning of each flash of the iphone cameras seeping into my face.
Dude! I can't even go to Taco Bell without a bitch wanting an autograph or a selfie. You get the picture.

It's like I got my childhood ripped away from me. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to but I can't have that, because I'm me. Clout is all everyone wants from me anymore.

I've tried relationships and friendships, but I keep on coming back to the same 5 fucking people who actually give a shit because I'd wound up getting my heart broken.

This tour would worsen that.

Don't get me wrong, I love my circle. I love everyone who supports me. But, come on, man. It gets so boring being used over and over again.

But, there was someone new who didn't see me as someone famous. She saw me as just another person.

I think. It hasn't even been a week yet and it feels as if I didn't even need to tell her my entire boring ass life story for her to understand where I'm coming from.

That's all I wanted a client to see me as.

Fuck, I didn't even know if she even liked my god damn music. She probably sees me as a controlling, manipulative piece of shit who's obsessed with Reese's puffs. I don't even fuck with Reese's puffs.

Psh. I say client like she's working for me. Well, she is. Whatever.

She came and talked to me like we were best friends. Her hazel coloured eyes glazing over like sweet honey when I told her how I was feeling. I could see the remorse in her face. I could see the golden dancing in her irises as she teared up at my simple sentence.

I could see the way she felt my pain when I opened up.

My family didn't have that shit at all.

They make me brush it off. Especially Finneas. He's my best friend. The love we have for each other is supposed to be unconditional, but when he's always in my asshole telling me what the fuck to think and to do and to say all the time— makes me wanna claw his eyes out. I don't know what's gotten into him.

I clenched my fists, stood up and barged out the small room, leaving Alex astounded at my sudden burst behind me. I bolted straight to where they were, watching mom and Finn's eyes dart straight towards where I was approaching.

As soon as I saw him, I lunged towards him, not caring about the fact my mom was standing right there at all. She hated it when we fought.

"Don't ever bitch snitch on me like that, you idiot!"

But, right when I was about to fling my hands around his neck, he caught them and pulled them down to my sides, his face red with fear.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

By now, I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

"It's none of mom's business what I say! It's none of your business what I feel!"

"Billie, I'm just trying to help!"

"Well fucking don't! Mom," I turned to face her, her jaw was on the fucking faded carpet by now, in utter shock, "Tell him to leave me the fuck alone already! Tell him I'm good!"

She didn't say anything at first, but simply looked at me in shock and looked back at Finneas, and back to me again.

"Do you see what I mean? She's so entitled now!" Finneas said.

"Me?" I chuckled, "Entitled my asshole."

"Yeah right."

I stepped forward, pulling my hands away but then swiftly slamming them into his chest forcefully, making him stumble slightly backwards.

"What the fuck, Billie?"

"Just let it go, Finneas." Mom said, crossing her arms and closing her mouth again.

By now, we were pulling in to the hotel's parking lot, and Alex was now standing a bit away, looking at us with a worried expression.

He got up from where he was, adjusting the hem of his shirt and clearing his throat.

I wanted so bad to swing at him again, but I held it in.

Mom spoke up. "Look, it's sunny out. So, get your bags and stuff for the hotel, we're gonna meet Rob in the lobby to go over room placements, and then Sully is gonna take you out to the beach. Billie, take Alex. Finneas, Claudia is going to be at the hotel. Everyone else has already gone over it." She clapped her hands. "Everybody's happy! No more fighty fighty children!" She sang.

I nodded, and looked over to Alex who was staring out of the window and admiring the swaying trees that she could see outside. She looked so peaceful. As if she didn't just witness me about to manhandle my older brother.

"Okay." I muttered.

———
A/N
small ass filler chapter
hope ur enjoying so far even though it's boring asf
i promise it's gonna get better just bare with me