Photograph

Twenty Seven

BILLIE'S POV

My unpredictable and opportunistic mask felt as if it was slipping beneath my precarious grasp. With her I'm vulnerable. Yet, I knew exactly what I'm doing. My motives were absconding into nothing-ness, and that was a bad sign.

This meant that I was falling for her.

Sorry for all the James Bond-ness. Being a people pleaser is something I as one is very fuckin' passionate about.

I didn't know if I wanted a genuine relationship or not with her, and that's what scared me.

The fact I was even considering it was so out of the blue.

I woke up empty bedded the next morning, but that was okay. I had to think about what I wanted and how I was going to get it.

Finneas would say this is classic Billie behaviour.

See someone Billie likes and then just uses them for comfort and to feel needed.

But, I don't want to use Alex. That's completely absurd and inhumane. I've said that before.

I just knew that stupid bitch Katie was going to get in the way of us. She already thought I was a raging homophobe, but it wasn't my fault that Rob made me voice my opinions sooner than I wanted them to break loose from the fragile web that he spun around my reputation.

Don't get me wrong, Rob is a jerk. I'd never work with him even if he was the last chance to ever get a drop of fame ever again. Holy shit, man, I wouldn't even accept him if he was the last burrito supplier on planet earth.

But, there was something about his impulse to strive for my fame that intrigued me.

I regretted ever thinking he was help.

I just knew he was trying to get in the way of me and Alex as well.

I needed to eliminate him.

Woah.

That sounded like some hitman type shit.

I just meant like, I need to fire him or something. I'm not going to kill that fool, otherwise this book would be a murder mystery or something— and it's not.

Well, ion know.

Katie, however, I needed to find a way to get her to get lost. She was going to get Alex and take her away from me forever. That couldn't happen. Alex was my responsibility. Not hers.

I had noticed Katie's blatant clinginess towards Alex from the day we went ice skating. It made Alex uncomfortable. The way Katie flirtatiously touched Alex's arm and did that stupid fucking giggle whenever she said something witty and charming as if to say 'you're the funniest person in the entire world!'.

Bullshit!

That doesn't sit right with me.

Fuck off, I'm not jealous either.

Or, maybe I was.

I might be hypocritical because I am very much the definition of promiscuity, but I'd never fake flirt just to get someone to like me. Something about Alex drew me away from everyone else I had ever been with.

And, of course, Katie caught on.

Katie knew.

Katie knew I wanted Alex all to myself and she was the barrier that was cockblocking me from victory and the satisfaction that I had craved for my entire life.

Fuck that bitch.

I gotta get her out of the picture.

Maybe this would turn into a murder mystery book?