B R E A T H E

s o r r y

why do we apologise for everything we do or don't do?

apologies should be sincere

for things like breaking someone's heart or accidentally hurting their dog

not for bumping into them or just because we forgot to call them, or wish them happy birthday or when they lose their parent to death

how is your sorry going to make a difference when there's so much grief taking up space?

do you really think that if their existence is so insignificant to you that you can't even remember to celebrate it, then your good wishes or best regards even matter?

fuck your politeness

there's no room for it in their life

take it from someone who never apologises

take it from me

i didn't apologise when i accidentally burnt his ankle with my cigarette

i didn't apologize when i ripped open the skin of his back with my nails

i didn't apologise when i kicked him in the nuts when he tried to kiss me sober

i didn't apologise when i made him clean my vomit from the trash can at 3 in the morning

i didn't apologise when his cat died

i didn't apologise when he caught me blowing another guy

you must be thinking how depraved, how cruel, how evil i am, to put him through so much but you see, he liked it

this disdain i treated him with.
he got high off of it

i liked seeing him like that

he was broken and miserable
and yet he stayed

he didn't even care

but the morning i apologised, right after sleeping with a girl, he called me a dyke and kicked me out of his studio

i haven't seen him since.
good riddance!

he apologised too much.