A New Journey

Accepting the Feelings

A New Journey

...

Though it was hard for Tarika she was coping up pretty well. Of course there were times when she would break apart, crying. And also sometimes staring at nothing specific she used to think where had she lacked to make him feel the love she felt for him. She couldn't find any answer. Instead of denying her feelings she had chosen to deal with them by accepting them.

Instead of avoiding him she used to pass a smile every time she came across him. Though the smile sure didn't reach her eyes and she could feel him becoming sad upon realising it. Tarika couldn't help but felt a triumph happiness on this. She mattered to him. This feel - she couldn't stop herself not to feel it. It was very hard. But she actually need to move on. She's not gonna cry over someone who's not worth of her feelings. But every time she say it to herself, her heart became heavy. It denied to accept his worthlessness. It shouted to her, he's worth of her every feelings.

She was leaving the Bureau premises when she spotted Abhijeet near his car. She couldn't find a moment of silence in last one weak to ask him about Tasha. She had asked ACP sir but was informed that Abhijeet was the whole conductor and monitor of the mission. So, she should ask him. She couldn't. It was hard. Indeed they talked in Bureau and lab about work. But asking about Tasha wasn't work, was it? Well, it might be, for others. But to her, it was personal. And Tarika was afraid she would became weak in front if him. She didn't want it. She would never want him to think she's having her ways with him through Tasha.

Yet, she couldn't help herself this time from asking him.

"Abhijeet." Tarika called him, normally.

Abhijeet stopped with his hand on the handle of his car. The melodious voice of her, calling out his name. It was so soothing. He would fight death to come back only to listen her calling her name. He had finally given up on denying. He started to accept the alien feelings in him developed by her. But he's very clear of not expressing them to her. Ever.

"Tarika." Abhijeet passed a smile to her, turning around.

"Hello." Tarika smiled back, an awkward smile.

"Hello." He nodded.

"I.. I wanted to ask about Tasha."

"Hmm..." He nodded again, indicating her to proceed.

"How's she? When's she coming back?"

"She's fine. Its not possible to say an exact date of her arrival."

"Any possible date?" Tarika asked with hope.

"Not yet." Abhijeet shook his head.

"Oh," Tarika became a little upset.

"I can understand, you miss her. But- "

"It's okay. I'll handle it." Tarika smiled, "good night."

"Don't cut me at middle." Abhijeet protested, rudely. Couldn't she understand he wanted to have a normal conversation with her? Couldn't they just let the past passed. Couldn't they pretend that nothing weird happened between them? Couldn't she?

He sighed internally. Of course she couldn't. She had been hurt terribly by him.

"So- sorry." Tarika looked at him, surprised. She wanted to shout not to use that tone with her. But she feared she would cry out. So, she kept quiet. "What were you saying?"