A New Journey

Face To Face

A New Journey

...

Time had stopped for both of them. They were looking at each others exhausted, tiring self with a kind of bored expression. Both were known to each others pain, their condition and also the turmoil of emotions going inside their minds. And knew what the other one was thinking or wanting to listen but they didn't know what to speak, how to speak.

"You are okay?" Tarika was first to break the silence.

Abhijeet was looking at her without blinking. It took time for him to understand her statement. He slowly nodded.

"You?" He asked with a small voice

"Fine." Tarika answered shortly. She wanted to ask so many things but she decided not to voice them. At one hand she's not sure if he was ready to talk and on the other hand she was afraid of his rejection. Yet once again.

"Tarika," Abhijeet cleared his voice.

She was looking at her fingers for a while but with her name being called she looked up, with hopes in her eyes.

"I was scared." Abhijeet stated, gulping his saliva. Only thinking about it was giving him chills.

Tarika stayed quiet. She decided to let him talk. None of his words gonna make her think otherwise. She's known to his feelings. She had seen them. There's no use of denial. She's just going to listen. She's not going to talk back. Abhijeet can never justify his acts as mere concern or care. Even he might know it. Still, let him try.

"I had never been this scared in my entire life." He gulped again. "I didn't know the intensity of my feelings myself."

He's accepting! She couldn't believe her ears.

"I was vulnerable. I.. I acted without thinking. You... you might not have liked the way I touch... be.. behaved with you. I.. I'm sorry "

Tarika was looking at him straight, piercing him with her tough and steady gaze. She didn't move or talk.

"And also, don't count on it." Abhijeet continued, "I have been running from my feelings for a long time. I shouldn't have been caught like this. But, I am sorry." He paused looking down and then again looked at her, "it doesn't change the fact that I do not belong to you, or you to me."

His voice cracked. He looked at her hopefully. He wished her to understand him. He didn't knew what he would answer if she asked why he was saying it, if she asked why was he running from her. He didn't have answers for them. Or perhaps he had but that didn't gonna be enough for her.

He waited and waited for her response.

Tarika looked away after few moments with a sigh. She chuckled. That was better than what she thought. She felt completely drained and couldn't find any energy to talk back. They both had gone through a lot today. Let's just get some peace. She could pass the night even the week with that soothing feeling of him loving her so intensely before she spoke to him about it. Moreover, he needed rest.

Tarika nodded with assurance. Abhijeet was shocked with her response. It wasn't certainly that easy. But then he realized, making someone to love you was easier than making the person accepting his love. But, was it really? Was he really that tough? Why was he wanting to become weak. Why was he wishing to be pushed, to be forced. Why was he wanting not to be scared?