The Promised School

Emma

She could have wasted time wondering why she had done that, but she didn't. She just lay there, staring up at the moon. 

Emma didn't get defeated easily. İn fact, giving in was her worst enemy. Every time Norman and Ray were down, she got angry with them for letting the situation take over. Now though...

Here I am. Pathetic. Lying here and waiting for...

What exactly am I waiting for?

İdiot. 

She turned, on to her stomach. Loss was a weird thing, it took over before she even realized she was crying. Very weird. 

Emma was cold. Lying here was boring, and cold. She couldn't feel her feet. She probably couldn't get up, even if she wanted to. 

Emma was not a crazy person. She was sane. She knew she was sane. She acted like she had because it was funny, and fun. Well it had been, before they somehow split up.

What do you even call this?

Hmmm...

She turned back to the sky. The moon was big again, but not a full moon. She could see it through the collecting clouds. 

Loss! Ah HA! 

She found herself smiling.

Well not really. I don't want it to happen, yet I was the one who walked away.

I walked away.

They probably hate me. Norman and Ray hate me. 

She remembered a converstation she had had once:

Ray and Emma were waiting for Norman, sitting outside the medical bay. He had problems with breathing again. He had insisted it was nothing.

Ray opened a book, frowning. They watched another doctor hurry in through the door, slamming it as he went in. After a few moments, the nurse who had been lecturing Norman inside according to him, appeared and dialed a number before walking off with the phone to her ear.

Emma looked at the door, then at Ray. He didn't look at her, but he was staring at the same place in his book, not reading.

"Ray?"

"What."

"Uhm... Why is Norman lying to us?"

"Lying?" Ray glanced at her. "He's not."

"Yes he is. He said he was fine."

"He is."

"No. He's not."

"Emma..."

"Ray. We need to talk to him."

"No. I told you. He's fine!"

"Why? Because he told you he's fine? That's why you think he is?"

Ray paused, then turned and looked at her for a long time. Then he looked away.

"I hate you so much." he said, glaring at his book.

"I know." Emma smiled.

"Did he mean it?" muttered Emma to herself. "Did Ray always hate me?"

She smiled again. She had got too used to Norman and Ray being beside her everyday. İt was painfull, here on her own without hearing Norman mutter stuff in his sleep and Ray laugh at him. İt was weird without them. İt was draining. 

They had never asked Norman why everybody thought he was so weak. He had never said anything, either, so it was forgotten.

Like all of it was going to be.