my choice

CHAPTER NINE

After my Grandfather walked out I had just sat on the chair staring at the wall for a couple of minutes, taking in everything he said to me I  realized he was right, Jay had been worried for me we both didn't know what to expect with everything. He had to watch me be brought out from the background to the front lines. How stupid of me to make it a  big deal just because he cared about me. One thing I knew now was that if it was me watching Jay in the situation I was in I would be thinking the same thing he had.

Shutting my eyes after realizing how stupid I was, I got up and made my way back to the computer base. Anxiety had risen inside of me the closer I got to the base. I couldn't help but worry that Jay wouldn't want to hear anything from me because of how insensitive I had been towards him.  Walking into the room i saw Jay and Rosie talking. I couldn't help  but roll my eyes, she didn't help me but she helped him? i walked over. " just trust me. oh hey Lacy, I'll leave you guys to it." she smiled at both of us and walked out, I  watched her leave what on earth was they talking about? " what did she mean just trust her?" I  said bringing my attention back to Jay.

" nothing. don't bother wondering, what do you want now Lacy? here to tell me how selfish I am when I've done nothing but look out for you." he said while continuing to type on the computer in front of him. Placing myself in the seat, Rosie was just in I took a deep breath." I want to say I'm sorry. it was wrong of me to say that when you was looking out for me likes always. You aren't selfish, I  like that you look out for me and listen to me go on and on about my problems." He just nodded he had turned to look at me now." Lace,  I care about you. sure all this is cool and its great that your showing everyone here and your parents at home how badass you can be. But you still need to be careful, we don't know much about this place and its hard seeing you be out there with dangerous weapons and having to watch it all happen not knowing if something bad could happen to you its scary. I've already lost my mum to this stuff. I  can't lose you too,"  He had this look in his eyes, it looked like a hurt puppy, i grabbed his hands and place them with mine." Jay, you haven't lost your mum, we are going to get her back just like everyone else. I'll be more careful from now. I'm not gonna go anywhere, even if I did we both know wherever I go you'll be coming with me if I have any say in it." we laughed and it felt normal again, this feeling had caught up into my chest but it was weird. no matter how hard I tried to understand what is was I couldn't. 

" oh by the way, I have something I need to tell you." Jay stood up and walked towards a board that was in the room. I walked up after him, " what is it?" he just closed his eyes and when he opened them again he had this look of comforting in them I am so confused. " haven't you thought why your parents haven't looked for you? I mean they was spies they had to  of been able to find you if they was one of the best years back." he said crossing his arms. I hadn't noticed it. but now that it was mentioned it was a little weird that my parents hadn't looked or came for me they had to of known I was here. Even if they didn't wouldn't I be on the news for being missing? " no. I didn't but that is a little off."

" you need to promise me that what I'm about to tell you, wont make you go all crazy and not to kick off alright," i nodded and crossed my arms waiting for what he needed to say.

" they already know where you are. when you had got taken out of the room to get ready to leave with Mason, i heard your grandfather on the phone, he was talking about you, saying things like she is still safe, she is doing good, told you she would of been able to do this. I'm pretty sure they've known you came here since we arrived." my heart dropped. Once again my trust in my family had been all a lie and a waste of time. " seriously! I made sure not to let them find out I thought grandfather understood this. why is trust not a thing with my family." I  just sat down and put my face in my hands.

 Jay had walked and place his hand on my shoulder. it was like everything I  had been hiding these couple of months just broke and I  started to cry. I  felt Jay pull me up and hug me and I just carried on sobbing onto his shoulder. it felt nice to let everything out, and to have Jay be there for me again helped me. I just couldn't believe they would do this to me. I was finally feeling like I was earning my place without having my parents say in it but I  was wrong they had allowed it and I was angry.

" I need to solve this for once and for all. I know I said I wont snap but i need to get to the bottom of this." jay just nodded and muttered " I support your choice. I'll be here every step of the way." 

i was going to solve this. they will not have a say in my life and my grandfather- no he has lost that title. Mike wont have any say in this either. It's my choice.