❝forbidden love❞ // sookai

▪︎ chapter 21

Huening Kai wasn't even properly mature yet but the panic he felt coursing his veins and making him break out in cold sweat now was comparable to what people would call a mid-life crisis. The warm insulation of hands coiled around his own trembling hands and the perfect slotting of the fingers between the spaces made Hueningkai wander off in his imagination, maybe somewhere, now he thought, he had a chance at.

Maybe it was also the way Soobin looked at him, searching for answers to all his questions he was petrified to ask, slowly yet gradually getting those answers wordlessly and perhaps that was enough.

But not for long.

Because Hueningkai watched as Soobin leveled his gaze with his, fixing Kai a cool, knowing stare and the gaze was breathtaking, too absorbing that Hueningkai couldn't keep eye contact for long enough. So, in the end, he didn't look at all, movement of locked pair of hands matching the rhythmic pace of the legs and his own pair of eyes fixed on the concrete floor of the side walk as they continue their walk.

Soobin didn't contemplate much either, at least he had tried not to, and he obviously hadn't succeed at it. He was too distracted by how Hueningkai didn't push his hands away or retaliate by "What are you doing?". The thought made Soobin smile but that was not necessary because for the thrill, they walked with their hands interlocked and Soobin mayhaps or may had not brushed his thumb over Hueningkais knuckles, soothingly and warmly

Kai shifted uncomfortably on his two feet, heart beating a jackrabbit pace beneath his ribs. Soobin had no idea how nervous he made him. It wasn't as though Soobin was a menacing, patronizing senior... it was just-- Soobin. In fact, he had been nothing but kind and caring and emanated warmth on every occasion where they'd met by chance or coincidental luck on campus. But maybe it was in the way he walked, the aura that followed him wherever he went that commanded attention and respect, that made Kai feel small in his presence.

And mind you, Soobin was Tall, So Kai admired giving Soobin the free dominance in that case.

God Kai, Seriously?

"U-uh", Hueningkai says, glancing over to Soobin.

Soobin looks back and immediately remorses his decision because the boy looks pale and out of this world.

"Hands....why did you?", Hueningkai tries rephrasing his words and gets embarrassed when he fails at struggling to come up with better words. His eyebrows plant a confused frown and he looks awfully dazed.

Soobin gulps.

"I-it's a friendly gesture. You know, w-what friends do, right?", Soobin awkwardly laughs, hands scratching his nape and clear disappointment waving through his daft mind. Hueningkais immediately unwraps his hands from Soobins upon coming to hear Soobins explanation of interlacing their hands together.

And Soobin, doesn't wanna be the one missing out on everything. You only live once, and keeping that into thought, Soobin gallantly laces their hands together again, one of his hands grabbing the other pair and carefully connecting those two like jigsaw puzzles. The thought of their hands slotting perfectly against one another makes him tender.

Hueningkai, out of astonishment, almost pulls away again, startled at the clear retrieve. His brain promptly short circuits, the mood of the atmosphere that was present, suddenly rampaging due to the instant tension surrounding them.

So many questions await for a reasonable response but its tough to render them and process an answer, for example, the urge/audacity of Soobin to be able to latch their hands back together, or why he would do something like this in the first place, nevertheless of Hueningkai knowing Soobins boyfriend would mind it. Yeah, he totally would. Maybe that's one reason why Hueningkai likes it.