So it goes [Breakable Heaven #1]

29. Crumble under external pressure

The vibration of my phone wakes me up right in the middle of a badass sci-fi dream. I have lots of those, so many that I sometimes wonder if I should cut back on sci-fi tv-series and movies. The answer to that question is, usually, a big fat no.

It takes me a while to realize that the buzzing noise I'm hearing doesn't come from space ships about to being blown up but from my phone, so I can't get the call on time, but I pick up the phone the moment a text message from Jean comes in.

- Where the fuck are you? -

Damn it! I forgot to text her that I was spending the night out, mostly because I couldn't come up with a believable excuse other than "I'm having some hot kinky sex with the Trybrid Bitch, so don't wait up, k?", and now she's probably worried sick because she hasn't found me at home. I'm such an idiot.

There are also six missed calls, all coming from my best friend, which make me feel even worse for not telling her where I am, or at least that I wasn't going to go back home for the night. I barely have time to reply to the first text that another comes in.

- Please tell me you're alive and you haven't been abducted. Please. -

I quickly type that I'm ok, I had just forgotten to tell her I was going to spend the night out. I have until I get home to come up with a good excuse.

- What have you been up to? Whatever, you'll tell me later. When are you gonna be home? We need to talk -

I groan and cover my eyes with my hands. I don't want to get up, and I am a little afraid of the subject of my impending talk with Jean. What if she wants to ask me why I've been acting so sneaky lately, staying out late or all night without confiding in her? We usually tell each other everything, so I know my behavior isn't normal. I just... I can't bring myself to tell her the truth. Not yet, anyway.

"I can hear you think," Rory's still drowsy voice reaches my ears and for a moment I stop caring about everything and everyone else because all I want is to spend the rest of my day in bed with this woman. Unfortunately, I can't.

"Sorry. Jean's been worried because I forgot to tell her I was spending the night out. She says we need to talk."

She rolls around so she's lying on her side, facing me. Her hair is tousled and she still has some smudged makeup on her face, and I swear she has never looked more beautiful.

"Is everything ok with you two?"

I nod. "Yeah, I just... I don't know how to justify spending so much time out, you know?"

"You mean she doesn't know about this? Us?" she sounds genuinely surprised. "I thought you told her everything."

"I do," I sigh. "I just... I didn't know if you were ok with me telling her. It's not just about me, it's about you, too. I was under the impression you didn't want it to come out."

"I don't. But that doesn't mean I would ever ask you to lie to your best friend."

"Oh!" I exclaim. I honestly didn't think she would be ok with me telling Jean about us. For some reason, I thought she wanted to keep this private, and I assumed it meant I couldn't tell a soul.

"So are you going to tell her?"

I carefully consider the question. I realize that I haven't confided in Jean not just out of respect for Rory, but also because I am not ready to tell anyone yet. I still want this to be just ours for a while, a secret Rory and I share and no one else knows about. Also, I'm still not sure how Jean would take the news, given her blatant dislike for my chosen sex partner.

"No, I'm not."

"Why? Is it because I am the Trybrid Bitch?"

My mouth swings open and I am at loss for words. I cannot believe she's known about the nickname Jean and I gave her all along and that she's being so casual about it.