So it goes [Breakable Heaven #1]

16. You are missing from me

"Are you sure you don't want to come to spend Christmas here with me?"

On the day of my actual birthday, my friend Rachel has called me on Skype, as per tradition. We have known each other since we were little, and even though we don't live in the same city or the same continent anymore, we always try to find some time for each other, particularly on special occasions. She even woke up one hour earlier than she should have, just to make sure we could talk before she has to go to work. The conversation then has moved on to the upcoming Christmas holidays, the first I won't spend with Lilian, but also the first since Rachel has moved in together with her girlfriend.

"Rach, it's your first Christmas living with Quinn; I doubt she would be thrilled to have your childhood friend around. I'm pretty sure it would kill all the amazing sex she's planning on having during the holidays. I have already taken you away from her for the whole month of August, I can't impose her my presence on Christmas, too."

Rachel's face becomes a violent shade of red. She's just the cutest thing, she blushes for everything, especially sex talks. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that she's thirty-three years old.

"Bee!" she squeaks, using the nickname we gave each other when we were little - our last names being Brennan and Bale. "Don't say these things out loud! Besides, Quinn would understand, she knows how much I love you and that you're going through a hard time."

"Dude, it's fine," I tell her, as I puff out the smoke I've just inhaled from my cigarette, thus earning a very disapproving look from my oldest friend who hates cigarettes more than anything else in the world. "Jean has invited me to go to Virginia with her, so I won't be alone. Just enjoy your Christmas with your girlfriend, ok?"

"Fine. But I am so going to come and visit you in Spring. And next summer you are all mine again. Deal?"

"Alright, alright," I put my hands up in a sign of defeat. "Look, Bee, it's not that I don't want to spend Christmas with you, and I know that Quinn would understand, but I just..."

"You're not ready to come back to Los Angeles just yet," Rachel finishes the sentence for me. We know each other better than anyone else in the world, and it's not uncommon for us to finish each other sentences.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Not yet. Not around the holidays."

Luckily, Rachel is quick to change the topic before I get sad again. We keep chatting for a while, until I hear my doorbell ringing.

"Bee, someone's at the door, so I should go. Let's Skype again soon, alright?"

"Of course. Love you, Bee."

"Love you, too," I wave and click on the red button to end the video call. I then go to the entrance to buzz whoever is downstairs in.

"Intercom's broken so I don't know who you are," I say. "Just come on in, fourth floor."

I make a mental note to remind Jean that we really should fix the intercom, as it's not exactly safe to just let anyone in without confirming their identity first.

I am really surprised when I see Rory exiting the elevator, holding a piece of chocolate brownie with a lit candle stuck in it.

"Happy birthday!" she almost yells. "Blow your candle before the wax falls on the brownie. I lit it up downstairs and the elevator was busy, so..."

I giggle and do as she says, while she claps her hand like a five-year-old girl. It's quite adorable, to be honest.

"Thank you for the nice surprise," I say. I split the brownie in half, offering one piece to her, but she shakes her head and waves her hand to refuse, so I enjoy it all myself. It's delicious. "This is amazing! It's really nice of you."