So it goes [Breakable Heaven #1]

30. Two and a half lies and one and a half truths

I ponder over my latest conversation with Rory for the whole drive home. I'm glad we're on the same page on this, and I understand her reticence in labeling herself. After all, why should it matter if she's gay, bi, or simply attracted to one specific woman? To this specific woman, it doesn't matter. I know that probably someday she will find a man she likes or that she has feeling for and this friendship with benefit will come to an end, just like it might happen that I will find a woman who makes me fall in love and with whom I want to build a stable relationship, and this thing with Rory will only be a parenthesis in my life. I like her, that's for sure, but I don't see what we're doing as something permanent, or even long-lasting. So I don't feel the need to label it, or to label Rory.

I also wonder, once again, what I am going to tell Jean. I have to come up with an excuse that is not too much of a blatant lie, because my best friend deserves better than that. I already feel like I have been treating her like crap, so adding a colossal lie to the list isn't a good idea. The way I see it, I have two possibilities, which allow me to get close to the truth without actually revealing it: I can either tell her that I am seeing someone, or that I was at Rory's for whatever reason that isn't sex. Since I have already crossed out the first one because I know Jean would want the details, my only option is to go with the second and hope for the best.

When I get home, I am surprised to find that Jean isn't pissed off as I thought she would be. She just worried when she realized that I wasn't home and that I clearly hadn't spent the night in my bed. Once again I apologize, secretly hoping she won't ask me for explanation, and feeling a little ashamed of it. But Jean being Jean, she doesn't just let it go.

"So where the fuck have you been? Is it a girl? Were you rolling in the hay with some hot girl I don't know anything about? How dare you? Out with it, who is she?"

As expected, she wants to know everything, which makes me thankful I have come up with another excuse.

"I wasn't." First lie. "I was at Rory's." First truth. "We are working on the activities for the St Patrick's party and we're soooo behind we decided to get together after work to get something done." Another lie. The St Patrick's party has been planned for days now, thanks to our 'no sex at school' rule. "It was so late when we were done that she offered me a place on her couch, and I forgot to text you to tell you I wasn't coming home." Alright, this is only a partial lie. It was indeed late when we finished having some seriously hot sex and I did forget to text Jean, but I obviously didn't sleep on the couch. Overall, if I do the math, I got away with two and a half lies and one and a half truth. It's not that bad of a score, is it?

"You know, it still astounds me that you are able to spend that much time with the Trybrid Bitch without feeling the need to kill her," she sighs. "I guess you two really are friends now, uh?"

"We are," I confirm, and that's definitely the truth. Friends with benefits, but friends nonetheless.

"Well, better you than me. Just don't scare me like that again, alright? I know we're just roommates and we have our lives, but you had told me you were coming home after work, so I got really worried when I didn't see you."

"I know, I'm sorry," I apologize again. "It won't happen again. Now, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Right..." she hesitates, then sighs. "Nataniel and I are celebrating our six-month anniversary soon, and last night he told me he has booked a long weekend for us in Paris as a present. He checked my working schedule while I was in the shower and he saw that I was free, but here's the thing: we are supposed to leave on the day of Sydney's concert."

"Oh."

I've been looking for this concert for months. Jean and I bought the tickets in June and I've been counting down the days. Now, I could always go alone, but I've seen Sydney Grant live three times and it was always with Lilian. She hated Sydney's, yet she came with me just because she knew how much I love her and how important her concert was to me. In time, she has started appreciating Sydney's talent, and at some point she stopped cringing every time I dedicated one of the singer's songs to her. Eventually, Sydney's music became as much part of my life as Lilian's, it was sort of 'our thing', and I am not sure I'm strong enough yet to see her alone, without moral support from a friend. But I don't want to miss the concert.