Hell is better

Chapter 1

Teresa's point of view:
And again it felt like I was drowning. My throat constricted and I couldn't breathe. No matter how desperately I tried to breathe, the water that kept running into my lungs would not allow it.
Suddenly I was pulled down. My eyes widened so I could see something in the water. But there was nothing, it was just black.
'It's over T'
I kept telling myself that over and over. It didn't feel like drowning, I was very still.
There was a burden on me, and for the first time in my life I wasn't sure if it wasn't mine after all, this burden. I closed my eyes, just for a brief moment.

~

"Hhhhhhhh" I jumped up and suddenly sat totally straight. In the first moment I didn't know where I was. I just thought about my air supply and how I just couldn't breathe.
I looked around and saw that everything was in ruins, the whole city was destroyed. At least as far as I could see.
But it confused me very much ... there was no water here. Then why did I feel like I was drowning? maybe it was just a dream after all.
But everything came back in one fell swoop......
My "friends", I was kidnapped, Newt was infected, Thomas, Ava who was dead on the floor, the cure, Janson, the kiss, the shocked looks of the others who told me to jump on and my free fall.
Everything came back, like a movie it passed before my eyes. I shouldn't have been dead then. With real dead bodies, blood and all the trimmings? Maybe I was dead and my mind couldn't find rest. So if I were one, that would have been true, I knew that myself ...
And then there is one very important detail that struck me. I didn't hit the floor because I fell in the pool. The same pool that Minho, Tom, and Newt fled through. So it hadn't been a dream after all, it was a memory!
I felt like I was drowning and dying because it really was. When I realized that it wasn't like that, I climbed out with great effort and fell over from exhaustion.
After that ..... black .....

~
I tried to get up. With the strength I could muster, I supported myself with my hands. My jacket slipped up and I saw all of my wounds. Some would likely become hubs.
Suddenly my head started to hurt. But it wasn't normal pain, it was stabbing, as if something was trying to kill me from within. I wanted to scream, but it didn't work, it just didn't work. I fell again in pain. Now it made itself felt on my back.
As soon as I got up again I checked. I pulled up my t-shirt and there was a very long wound that was bleeding across my back. I would have to disinfect them as soon as possible.
Funny how the blood had dried up to some extent.
I looked around again more closely. It stopped burning and my clothes were dry. So it had been more than a day, maybe two or three.

~
I either slept very late or I was in a coma. I groaned as I took the first step; my feet and legs were rigid. What shit was that actually here?
I tied my hair in a ponytail with a hair tie tied around my wrist. So my hair couldn't fly into my face, after all, the wind was pretty strong despite everything.
Before I set out to explore the area and find shelter, I dragged myself to the pool. I took some water to drink with my hands. I had to replenish my water balance, and I simply ignored the disgusting, contaminated taste and feeling that I was about to throw up.
As I just walked in any direction, I wiped my tired eyes. I moved forward as fast as possible. But probably everything was destroyed in the next 1000 meters.
'Since when are you thinking so negatively?' I asked myself. But I also knew the answer: today.
I was fed up with believing in everything, no matter how little hope there was. I had seen it so many times before, clinging to every tiny bit of hope in order to achieve something hopeless.
I always knew myself that it was just my fantasy that told me everything would be fine.
How many times had I wondered if there really was a cure? How many times had I talked myself positively until I believed my own lies myself. I thought there were still opportunities. And what did it bring me? Nothing at all.
The fact that there really was a cure didn't make it any better. It wouldn't change or save the world.
The people I loved had turned away from me, I had hurt them and they had made me feel it. I was alone, I had no one. Not my friends, not my family, not Tom and also not Ava, who had been my caregiver for the past few weeks.
This was my punishment, hell.
No, hell is better.
But somehow I deserved to be so rotten. I was not meant to be a peaceful death, not after all the pain I had caused. That I really tried to make a difference didn't count. This was just what I was meant to be.
I had already got to know this broken world, but now I would get to know it properly. There was no refuge and the sad thing was ..... I was alone.
Being alone has always been my fear. Other children would have replied that they were afraid of the dark or that they were monsters.
Not me, my fear was to be alone. That was karma now. I always tried to belong, in one way or another. I thought I had to be part of Wckd, but it was the wrong decision. Actually my whole life was an insanely wrong decision.

As I continued walking through the streets, I thought about it. Just more and more.
A single tear ran down my cheek at a time, but it didn't stay on one. I didn't know why I was crying. Probably because I pretended to be. I was never what I was.
I had acted for so long that it made my character bad. I wasn't really that bitchy, evil and in love with myself. In any case, I didn't want to be. My goals had been intelligence, helpfulness, and loyalty.

~

It went on like this for a while. I went and thought. I have no idea how much I covered.
Meanwhile there were also some buildings that were still standing or were only partially destroyed. Nevertheless, I had the feeling of walking in circles.
So far, I hadn't met anyone either. The people either died or fled. Fortunately, I hadn't run into a crank yet, I'd just heard some. I was way too weak to fight.

~
I didn't want to anymore, maybe I should find something to sleep today. I had to rest, I was injured and extremely tired, even though I had slept for two days.
I was about to leave when I saw something flash. At first I thought it was the sun that was reflected, but no ..... I think someone was lying there.
I was surprised, probably just another corpse. Still, I ran in that direction. Shortly before, I blushed to stand, frozen in shock.
My mouth opened, I wanted to say something, but no ....... Newt was there! Overlooked with wounds and a knife in his chest. Tears ran down my face, I could have saved him.
If I had seen earlier, he could have had a good life with Tom now. The last time I saw him I called in my mind. Something was wrong, he'd had a lot more black veins there. It wasn't possible ... or was it?
I dropped to my knees and felt his pulse. His heartbeat was weak, but he was alive! The blade hadn't hit a major vein or his heart, what luck; I was relieved, but how the hell would I save him?
I had to examine him as soon as possible. A lot with one where I had seen a lot of medical stuff the last time ... at Lawrence outside the walls! As far as I knew, only the city was destroyed!

~
I must have been dragging him through the deserted streets for 2 hours. Over and over again. I had long since reached my limit, but I had no choice.
Nobody else would die in my presence! Groaning in pain, I dragged him on. The sweat stuck in my hair, my head hurt incredibly. But I already saw the target, it was still there.
I had to hurry, before it gets dark we have to be there. Otherwise there was food like crank. It was weird that they didn't show up all day, but I couldn't worry about that.

Finally I stood in front of the big door that was in an alley on the side of the road. She was open. But after us I blocked it.
I looked around, everything as usual. Everything was still there, the common room, beds, food, and even medical care.
I pulled Newt onto the bed. Removing the knife wasn't that easy, I stopped the bleeding with a bandage. I also cleaned the other wounds, but Newt had a fever ... he was very restless. 'Now all you have to do is wait for him to wake up' exhausted, I fell on one of the beds and doubled over in pain.
I forgot that I was hurt too.

Hey guys,this is my first part and I hope you like it.
I know Newtesa isn't popular but I had this wonderful Idea and I just have to write it down!
For all the Teresa haters: I'll change her personality a bit,so mabye you'll like her. And Newt will ofc not like her in the beginning,you know how Newt can be.

I wish you a nice day,
Arya