All American Prediction Series: Season 3

Episode 10: Baby Girl

Author's Note: I changed a few things up in this chapter once the promo pics were released for episode 10. 

"We need to figure out what your triggers are." 

Olivia was in her second session of therapy that week and feeling slightly overwhelmed. Since the news of her relapsing sent her family and friends into a frenzy, Olivia was working extra hard to remain sober. She only left her home for school and spent the rest of her time meditating and drawing.  She didn't want to admit it, but she was afraid to return to the real world in fear of what would trigger her. Pam Jones, Olivia's addiction counselor, had become an instrumental part of her days. Over the past week, they had created a coping skill plan and how to put the plan into action. 

"How do we do that," Olivia asked, twisting the silver band around her index finger. Until now, Olivia hadn't thought about possible reasons for her relapse. She just knew at the time there was a lot going on in her life and she felt overwhelmed and alone. But she could not specifically point to one event or situation and say that was her trigger. 

"First, we can start at the beginning. When you first started taking pills, what were your feelings? Was there anything going on that made you feel uneasy," Pam began, jotting down a few notes before turning her attention back to Olivia. 

"Um....I honestly don't think it was a single event that made me take pills. I just....I felt like I wasn't being seen by my family. Everyone was either concerned about football or work. One day I took some of my mom's prescription pills and felt like I could breathe. Then I couldn't stop," Olivia explained. 

"Can you elaborate on that? What do you mean by you felt like you could breathe?" 

Pausing for a beat, Olivia thought back to the day she first tried pills. "My mom was at work and I was feeling down one day. For no particular reason, just having one of those days. I wanted to watch a movie or something with my dad. Do anything to make myself feel better but he pushed me away. He said he had no time for leisure when the football team had to have a gameplan for that week. He didn't even look in my direction." 

"And when you took pills that day, how did that make you feel?" 

"Sleepy at first, but then I felt like I was floating. Obviously, I was high but I felt something for the first time in a while. I knew it was wrong and I kept taking them because I started getting attention. I became fun, party girl Liv and everyone wanted to be around me," Olivia explained, her eyes staying fixed on the carpet. She rarely talked about her pill days out loud to anyone. 

"So when you were sober, how did you feel," the therapist questioned. 

"Like nothing. I felt nothing." 

"Did that scare you? To feel nothing?"

"Yes. Because I knew if I had to depend on pills to make me feel whole then I was headed down a dangerous path. But I couldn't stop," Olivia's eyes watered as tears threatened to fall. Being an addict made her feel like a monster, especially this time around. Hurting her family and Spencer broke her heart and the guilt of it all was eating away at her.

"You're crying. What are you feeling like right now, Olivia? Be completely honest."

Olivia's emotions were boiling over and she broke, "I feel like a monster. What if all this therapy and crap doesn't work and I get addicted to something else?" 

The therapist grabbed a tissue box and sat it on the table in front of Olivia. "That's why I'm here to help you, Olivia. You're not a monster, you're sick and we will get you better. You just have to trust yourself and most importantly, forgive yourself. Your loved ones and Spencer don't hate you. They're worried about you and want you to get healthy. It's going to take some work but I know you're going to get there. I believe in you and when you start believing in yourself, the rest will come easy."