Abominable

Ch.27 - Realization

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(Recap)

"I can't go back there."

"We need you Yoongi! For her! She needs to get better or else yours and her future is at risk."

"I can't go back! I-I can't..." I grabbed my neck in pain where he injected me. Alaric had a bewildered look in his facial expression.

"You've been hurt... By who. Tell me who!?" I looked into his eyes... And I knew I'd regret saying these next two words.

"Her brother."

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(Y/n's POV)

I feel like my body is floating... My mind was finally free of unwanted thoughts and regrets. Every harm I had done to people that raided my poisoned mind, now vanished. I knew I wasn't dead. Though if this what it feels like to be, Then I want to stay here. I never felt so at peace with myself in so long.

This place I was in was filled with color, not the gloomy clouds or rain. Just- Happiness.
The ground beneath my feet was soft, the grass was almost soft to the touch, that I was able to freely run my feet through.

"Cecile.. Is that you?" My body spun around and the sound of a soft-spoken voice. My eyes focused clearly at the sight of a woman who looked very familiar.
"Who are you?" I questioned the unknown lady. I didn't feel fear when she came closer. I felt calm, the need to cry.

The woman's expressions flashed with a look of sadness. But she immediately replaced it with a smile.
"It's me Cecile. It's your mother." She showcased her palm in hopes that I would grab it. She could sense I was hesitant.

"I know what you're thinking. I might not be your real mother. But I can see in your eyes that you know it's me. You remember vividly in your mind about how I look. For so many years you try to picture me. It's been fading, hasn't it?" She stepped back to give me some space.

"Look at your hand. We both share the same mark on our finger. When I died, a couple days before I did. I noticed it was fading away. But you, still have yours." I looked down taking a glance at my hand, and she placed hers next to mine. She delicately engulfed my hand in hers. But it only slipped through, my body felt like it went into paralysis. 

A thousand images had gone through my head. And one that stuck out to me the most. Was the one where she held me for the first time.
"Mother. You're really here?" My hand reached out to touch her, only for it to go through. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Yes baby it's me." I so badly wanted to hold her. To know how she felt like, I wish I had been able to know what it would feel like to be held by your own mother. I hadn't known a single hug since long ago.

"Why can't I hold you?" My voice was weak, almost childlike. Seeing my mother for the first time as a grownup had made me feel like a child all over again.
"Because you're not dead. Only the dead are able to touch a soul. Your soul is here because you're going through an awakening. You've cheated death many times Cecile, and I wish you realized who was really at fault for most of it."

"Who's at fault?" She smiled with a smidge of guilt.

"That I cannot tell you right now. If I did. I'm afraid I won't be able to see you again. Because when I tell you. My soul will move on, and never to be seen again. I haven't been reincarnated because I haven't moved on. I still have unfinished business. But my business is standing in front of me. For so long I've waited here, for you to finally come to me."

"But why now? Why after all these years I see you?"

"Because you're beginning to realize things you haven't before. Only one day you've been gone from your body. You've discovered most things. But one." She spun around and stood at the edge of a lake, where the beautiful scenery of the sky reflected onto the water.

"Did you really love Alaric." I saw her body stiffen.

"I do. I never stopped loving him. I made mistakes darling, I regret not ever marrying Alaric. But if I hadn't married your father, I wouldn't have had you, Jin and Hoseok. You three, were a blessing to me. You guys are the one thing I never regretted in my life. Your father was an amazing man. But I could not love him, not like I loved Alaric. For he had been my first love."

I closed my eyes at the thought of Yoongi. And I came to a conclusion that, I never could love anyone else.
"You have found your other half?" She smiled lovingly.

"Yes.." My smile faltered. "But he and I are no more. It seems as though he'd want nothing to do with me anymore. He had painted me to be a monster that I am. I saved him mother. Multiple times I have tried. I-I thought since I didn't save him long ago. I could now. The last time we spoke, he told me Jin had told him all these things. I kept telling myself, Why? Why would Jin do that to me." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"He knew Yoongi and I had reunited once again. Why would he take that from me?" The memory of Yoongi and I arguing kept replaying in my head like a broken record.

"Darling. Your brother has always been overprotective of you. Ever since you were born. You should've seen the way he looked at you. Like you meant everything to him. Now I have no excuse as to why he is spreading false things about you."

"You say he's overprotective of me mother. But the way he acts now, it's nothing compared to before. When I look into his eyes. All I see is emptiness? Like- I'm not looking at my brother. But a stranger." The last few words I had whispered with deep sadness. My mother shifted closer to me and wrapped her arms around me, laying my head on her shoulder.

"I wish I can stay here. With you." My mother laughed while rubbing her fingers over my hair.
"You don't want that love. Sure the scenery looks amazing, the sunshine, the air you breath. But loneliness consumes even the purest places. You have to stay in the real world." I shudder.

"I don't know how much longer I can hold on staying there. I feel something taking over me. It's hard to control- sometimes it tells me to kill everyone. Even Jin, my other family. I'm afraid that one day I'll snap. Maybe it's a good thing Yoongi is far away from me. That way I can never hurt him, maybe he's safer away from me." I hadn't noticed I changed locations. Now we were in a dark place.

"You're letting the darkness consume you Cecile. Fight it." Her body seemed to be fading away and she tumbled to the floor. I couldn't help her, but I still crouched down to see what was happening.
"Mother! Are you okay?!" She looked up at me, and her eyes grew glossy.

"My unfinished business. Is now finished. I saw you. That's all I wanted. Stay alive darling help free your brother, He needs you. Hoseok needs you. And Yoongi." She touched my cheek one more time, holding it in place.

"I love you darling. I promise to find you when I'm reborn. And promise me not to give up on Jin. He's fighting a lot more than you think. Don't let him end up like me. before it's too late. Goodbye my dear, till we meet again."