Mcyt angst

Music Man

Gentle tunes were common in the Simons house hold, our whole family loved music it just seemed so natural to always be singing or listening to simple tunes, sometimes even dance along to ABBA or Queen.  From a young age we were taught to use music to our advantage, let it release our emotions through the small riffs and melodies. I sang soft tunes when I felt alone the lyrics creating themselves in the spur of the moments. 
Having a famous twin meant music was my main source of communication, as we used to talk about everything together even the useless things like what we ate that day or if we saw a pretty bird, but the more viewers he got the less time he had to talk, to listen to even spend time with me. At this point he doesn't even look at me at all.
I spend most my time playing my guitar ignoring the constant noise complaints when he's streaming. I always used to listen when he told me to be quite or chill somewhere else while he streamed but I've starting ignoring his requests to maybe be able to draw out a single conversation with him even if its an argument. The benefits of having our rooms next to each other is that the walls are thin so  maybe I could sing him how I'm feeling and he'd have no choice other than to listen to it.

Knowing him he'd still find a way to ignore it, it's gotten to the point where I feel as thought he doesn't know I exist anymore.

Tommy had just finished a stream as I heard him log of for the night saying goodbye to other in the call. I didn't know exactly what my plan was but I crept into his room, there was no reason for me to hide the fact I walked in but it felt so unnatural to approach him any other way, it was as thought he had become a stranger, my own twin brother had become a stranger.
"Tom.... Tom.....TOM?" he swung around almost hitting me with the chair, not even caring if it hurt me.
"what do you want luna, I'm trying to work"
"Tommy you literally just finished streaming, you aren't doing any work I just want to speak to you, can't we just have one conversation once in a while.. Jesus"  I honestly wasn't bothered with even trying to speak to him anymore, it's as if I don't exist and when I finally prove I'm real he doesn't even want me there.

'I'll try again in the morning' I tell myself, its pretty much what I tell myself every night but at this point it's never worked, he's always too busy, or not in the mood to speak. I just want to be like it used too, always sharing the laughs together rather than him sharing them with his friends or even playing in the fields until nightfall rather than him only going out to meet up with his Internet friends.

I just want my brother back, the way he was before.

~~~time skip~~~

"luna............luna....". I heard someone say, it was long ago that I had given up on trying and had fallen asleep in my bed, I wasn't expecting to just be abruptly woken up at god knows what time, to a random voice saying my name. It was in a sort of loud whisper which made me immediately realise it was Tommy.
"what" I honestly wasn't in the mood to talk to him anymore I had tried so hard at this point he wasn't worth my time.
No matter how hard I try it convince myself that I don't care about him I always feel drawn to him in some way I know he's my brother and all but I don't always have to be there for him especially as he's not always there for me, but ignoring him hurt me in some way, I didn't like pretending to be asleep just so he would go away, it pulled at my heart strings once I heard my bedroom door pulled closed, at least he had tried to talk for once, but of course I just had to ruin it. One thing I did realise from tonight is that he really is a pain in the arse even when he tries to make things better, did he really think trying to wake me up at 4am was a good idea, what logical person would do that.
I suppose I have to blame that on his sleep schedule mostly but the wirring thoughts are prohibiting me from falling asleep, the mattress always feels solid and my pillow grew warm forcing me out of bed. What am I even supposed to at this sort of time, I am more of an early riser than a night owl. ' but the moon does looks beautiful tonight' I think to myself, I always had been in love with the night sky but I rarely stayed up long enough to really enjoy it, as the sun went down so did my blinds and it was simply blocked out, I have missed it.
I don't really remember when I had started singing but I felt like I was talking to the stars, they seemed to be the only ones who would listen at this point. They would shine brighter after every lyric, they became my audience, something that would care, I just wanted me and tommys connection back.
It seemed that as much as music brings us together it had even helped patch me up once we grew apart.