chapter nine;
lingering danger
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HALOS hindi na ako makahinga sa narinig kay Kallisto. My mind was blank and I couldn't even think of how to explain nor ask for forgiveness. The vividness of the images that flashed in my head was horrifying.
I'd even say that the way Kallisto treated me was so kind despite of what Portia—this body—did to his comrades. I was still in his mercy on how he still kept me alive, even after witnessing such a dreadful scene.
If I were him... my stomach wouldn't take it in. Even if the only one who could save me was him... I still wouldn't... be able to do it.
My conscience would be the death of me.
His mentality on how feelings shouldn't really come first because his survival was in the line was something admirable but also complicated.
Idagdag mo pa na kahit sobrang sakit at lungkot nang pangyayaring 'yon, napakakalmado at halos walang emosyon siyang magsalita kanina. It was my emotions that fluctuated up and down.
He must have been so confused, conflicted, and he might even feel like he was going crazy, although he wasn't showing it. He remained rational and casual in front of me who was supposed to lose her memories.
This man... this man didn't deserve to be deceived.
Guilt and blame were probably eating him inside.
How could he take this face who killed his people... a wife? How could he do that?
Kaya siguro hinayaan niya akong nasa puder niya, kasi imbis na mamatay, ipaparanas niya muna sa mukhang 'to ang pakiramdam ng sakit na higit pa sa kamatayan. But seeing this face carefree, smiling, and sincere... must have tormented him deeply.
If not for his abyss that was free with my celestia... I was sure he wouldn't even want to see my face.
Napatungo na lang ako hindi alam ang gagawin o sasabihin. He didn't move, and remained stoic. Even when he was looking at the face, that was the reason for all the conflicting feelings that he was carrying alone.
The pain of the abyss must have really numbed him, for he was still this strong to accept me.
He might try to deceive me that he didn't care that much about his knights; that was why he could accept and treat me casually; I wouldn't believe that. Because in the first place, why would he go mad after seeing that sickening moment?
"I'm so sorry... I'm really really sorry..." My voice whispered as I asked him for forgiveness.
Even though it wasn't my fault, as long as I have this body, I felt like... somehow had a share of it.
"Instead of apologizing, why don't you remove that mask... so I could hate and use you freely?"
The voice that echoed in my ears wasn't threatening, but it hit the right spot that was almost fatal for me. It almost sounded like a whisper of plead. A plead that was begging to stop the torment that was eating him alive.
"Baudelaire," nagtitimping saad niya, halos magtangis ang mga panga. Pero pinilit na kalmahin ang sarili. He sighed and shook his head.
"Would you believe me... if I said that, I wasn't... Portia?"
Halos ibulong ko ang huling salita at kasunod no'n ang pagkunot ng mga mata niya. The air seemed to carry my tiny voice to reach his ear.
"What nonsense is it this time?" Napailing na lang siya at pagak na natawa na para bang gumagawa na naman ako ng kwento katulad no'ng pagkakaro'n ko ng amnesia.
BINABASA MO ANG
Unravelling Fate
Fantasy[ ON GOING ] Trapped in the world that she had written, Evienne Soleil decided to turn the pages and fight her predestined future. Would she be able to unravel the secret to why she transmigrated in her novel, or would she succumb to the original p...
