Sugar And Ice

chapter 30

         It's been two months since Henry. Since I killed him and haven't felt any remorse for it. It bothered me at the beginning, not having that feeling that I should have. I killed him, not letting him defend himself at least. I just killed him.

"Why don't I feel bad?" I ask Dimitri as we were going to sleep. Squeezing me against him as I look at the fire place. Kissing my back softly, I close my eyes feeling his warmth.

"You've had a typical care free life, one that hasn't required to judge or fear anyone or anything. One where you were told to react a certain way at certain situations."

          I turn around, facing him. Bringing my hand up, touching his face, one I've memorized. Closing his eyes as I touch it, my ring sparkling as the light of the flame hits it. Opening them up looking at me.

"Don't dwell on it, we have a different perspective on the world, it's not all black and white. And it's ok to feel the way we do. You're not evil for what you have done, I would have done the same thing."

          I left it at that, closing my eyes, hearing the fire crackle as I went to sleep.

*****

              Since returning back to Moscow with my mother, Hazel lifted my mother's shield and we both learned the truth of my father. It's taking sometime to understand everything and get all of our facts together. My mother remembered everything from the first moment they've met until his very last. She locked herself in her room for a few days after Hazel lifted her shield. Not letting anyone in, not even me. I could hear her crying, her pain and even anger. I know she's holding something back but I'll give her time until she's ready to discuss with me.

                We didn't tell her about what I did while I was held captive by Henry and our battle. We just kept it minimal as I didn't want to frightening her with my actions. Something I'm still having trouble with myself. She's met with Elvira and both shared fond memories of my father with each other and myself. I requested Hazel to put her shield back on but without removing her memories, to keep her protected from Petal.

              Victoria returned home after we came back not wanting to be near Edward. Edward has been going crazy without her, with her being so close and yet so far away. On both full moons since we've returned, Dimitri had to have him locked up, knowing that if he was out, he would gone and would have taken her by force. Which is something I would never let happen.

           She hasn't visited but we have talked almost everyday like before. She's still conflicted about it and all that happened but is coming to terms with it. They have spoken to each other, each time lasting longer. Which makes me happy for them, getting to know each other, like an actual couple would.

           We plan on getting married in December which is slowly approaching. I'm not nervous at least not yet. It hasn't hit me yet so I just push it off for the moment.

******

           I've been practicing with Elvira with my gifts even though she said I'm a natural especially with how I handled Henry and his minions.

"I will buy us some more time, but she's very eager to come get you. She dosen't know anything of what happened with the vampires and I'll keep it that way. You having absolute control over them, it's amazing. Humans is one thing but the supernatural, that's astonishing. You're the first of our kind to have a mate as a werewolf too. Imagine the children you'll have?"

           She beams with glee with a big smile on her face, as I walk her out to the car.

"No kids yet for us." I look away as I say it. I can feel myself blush. She laughs at my discomfort.