where you go i go

Thirteen

Thirty-seven years had passed since the end of the war, and the news had come that the King of Dawn was succumbing to his ailing health. While their relationship had dwindled, Nayoko recalled Ahmund with fondness and remembered that it was his warm demeanour that had helped to lessen the hostilities between the two countries, and she felt it was only right to pay him one last visit.

Tanya had agreed readily when she had brought up the idea, and Nayoko set off to make the trek across the country while Tanya remained, certain that she had finally gotten a lead on Lena's whereabouts.

By the time she made it to the capital of Dawn some three weeks later, Ahmund was already gone.

The funeral had been magnificent, the streets filled to the brim as the people mourned their king together. Nayoko remained on the outside, her hair hidden under a scarf. She stayed for the festivities as the city celebrated his life and achievements, yet confusion and frustration settled in her gut as she watched on. How could they do that? Didn't they know that someone had died ? That a beautiful and brilliant mind had been lost to the world? Yet they feasted as they cried, danced as they mourned, and it only made her angry.

Nayoko's breath caught in her throat as she realised this would not be the last time she felt this. This was just the beginning of the cycle, bound to repeat itself again and again until no one else was left.

Only her.

When she returned to the mainland she had already been swallowing down her emotions for weeks, but as she crossed the threshold of the little shack that had been their temporary home and saw Tanya stand up with concern, they finally bubbled up and over.

"I – I didn't make it," Nayoko whispered. Her vision began to swim behind the tears that were welling up.

"Nayoko, I'm so sorry."

"By the time that I... They were preparing the funeral. I couldn't get close, I feared that if I did I might have been discovered," She gasped out, and her hands reached out to clutch at Tanya's shirt, hoping it would stabilise her from the swimming motions she was feeling. Tanya cupped her cheeks and held her face in warm hands, thumbs wiping away each tear as it fell.

"Tanya, I –"

"Hush," She hummed, "You needn't apologize, not to me. Every life is important, and as such, it is important that we allow ourselves to feel and to mourn."

Nayoko looked up into her eyes, so full of wisdom and a hundred lifetimes worth of pain and regret. She wondered how one woman could withstand all she had been through.

"Did you – did you find Lena?" Nayoko asked, hopeful. Hopeful until she saw her expression drop, just for the barest of seconds.

"I did," she answered, soft and unsure. "She's doing well."

"And?"

"...and she's happy where she is right now, and sends her regards," she finished, eyes closed.

"Oh Tanya."

They collapsed in each other's arms, eyes full of tears unshed as they held each other in silence. The winds would howl and the snow would gather outside, but here it was warm.