never grow up.

23. empty

(empty-janet jackson)

soojin's pov (gonna probably stay this way for the rest of the story)

It was my second day awake. I drank my 4th cup of coffee. I haven't been this actively awake since my days in the drug factories. I sat in the apartment. I was waiting for Soyeon to call.

After all she's done for me, I basically have no reason to ask her to help me find this girl. Shuhua literally was still a stranger in her eyes. That Yuqi girl didn't know shit either. As for me, I felt like I known her for all my life. I never fell in love before her. Though Soyeon was my first love, we were never in love. We almost made it but she was not for most of my bullshit.

Maybe because Shuhua was open to every aspect of my life I was weak to it. Or did I enjoy it. She was so full of curiosity and ambition. Then, when she got with me...all of that changed. I'm not quite sure why, but the light in her eyes dimmed. She was so gone from the Earth. I felt like it was all on me. Because I stressed her out. Because I was always gone after we made love. I never stayed afterwards. But, that was because I was horrified.

Love scared me. Looking into her intense eyes intimidated me, so I had to intimidate her. She could not get too close because it would hurt her more than me. And now, look at where shit has gotten us. All because I didn't take care of Hui when I had the chance to. He should have stayed in jail for all the shit he caused. He was a problem. He killed all those people. All I did was watch.

Soyeon called me and I answered it as soon as I saw her name flash across my screen. "What's up?"

"She's in your old warehouse."

I got up with my car keys. "Okay. Meet you there?"

"Soojin, I gotta stay to repair the club. That's your girl. But just don't do anything stupid or so help me, God. I'm not bailing you out again."

"I ain't gonna do shit," I said as I hung up the phone. I know she was coming from a place of concern, but at this point, there was no stopping me. I was on my shit. I got my AK-47 from beneath the floorboards and my Uzi from behind the bookcase. I kept these prized possessions hidden for reasons. Soyeon never knew about my weapons. I slid into my boots and unlocked my black BMW.

I drove off as fast as I could. The road was stocked in traffic so I began driving through the backroutes. I reached the back entrance of the warehouse. I ran through my keyring. I know Hui never changed the locks because people barely came here. I unlocked the door and I saw the meat bags hanging up. I smirked as I walked through the area. There was an old photo of me and Hui posing in front of the Eiffel Tower together.

"We were so happy together," he'd taunt me. I would ignore it and go back to doing whatever it is I wanted. I ignored him so often. I guess I turned him into a monster too.

I cracked open the next door to see blocks of drugs and a body sleeping next to it. Her head was bruised and her kneecaps were bloody. Her lips were cracked. I ran to her. "Shuhua." I tucked a hair behind her ear. She shivered in my arms. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

Shuhua's eyes opened but remained low. "The fuck are you doing here so late?"

"I'll never leave again. I swear."

She laughed and spat in my face. "Fuck you."

I shook my head. "Baby. No. Don't do this to me please."

She blinked twice while rubbing her cheek against the brick. She looked high. I felt like I was going to lose my mind. "What did they do to you?"

She smiled and grabbed my face with her hand. "Leave. I'm happier high. It allows me to forget about you."

"No." I lifted her off the ground. "No. Please."

"Put her down!"

I turned around and saw Hongjoong. He was not wearing that stupid suit and some normal people clothes. I widened my eyes. "I know this little bitch didn't just raise his voice."

"You shouldn't play with people's prized possessions." He smirked. "Shuhua and I share something special. Don't you think, my pet?"

Shuhua rolled her eyes at him, sniffling.

"What did you give to her?"

Hongjoong put his hands behind his back. "She asked for the drugs. They help her sleep and with the crying-"

I shoved my gun into his chest. "Let her go, man. Please."

He pushed the gun off his chest and placed his hand over the mouth of the gun. "You know the consequences, right?"

I winced. "Of?"

"Leaving."

"I never said I was leaving. I just need her out of this."

"She is a lost cause, Soojin." He leaned into me. "Just like you."

Suddenly the door bursted open and Hui stood there. He had his gun in his pants. His eyes were red and powder was under his nose. He grinned madly when he saw me. He dramatically held his hands out as if he was asking me for a hug. I held my gun in his direction.

"You can't kill me, sweetheart. I'm indestructible." He giggled as he snatched my gun from me. "Fuck you." He kicked me in my shin and I fell to the ground. Shuhua sighed at the sight. "What did I say about loving someone who wasn't me, Soojin?"

I groaned as he kicked me in my back.

"It's a shame we're here in front of this pretty girl. She isn't that pretty anymore since she has all those drugs in her system, now huh?" He kicked me again. I cried out. "Shut up. You weren't this whiny when you were fucking her...or was she fucking you?"

"She's weak, boss," Hongjoong snickered, his arm on Shuhua's head.

"Please-" I grunted. "Don't hurt her."

Hui stopped kicking me. "Oh..." He knelt down and lit up a cigarette. "So you don't value your life anymore but you value hers?" A tear ran down his cheek. "I'm quite jealous."

I could barely move but I grabbed his neck. "You disgusting pussy."

Hongjoong grabbed me off of him and kicked me in my stomach.

Hui gathered himself and got my gun. "So..." he said quietly. My adrenaline pushed me far beyond the edge. I felt myself standing up and socking the shit out of Hui. He pushed me to the ground. "Touch me again and I'm blowing your bitch's head off."

Hongjoong grabbed Shuhua by the hair and tossed her onto the middle of us. She rolled on the floor and was smiling wildly. I ended up fighting Hongjoong but he drew a knife on me. He stabbed me in my shoulder. I yelled in pain as Hui grabbed Shuhua by the neck and held my gun against her temple.

"This is it, Soojin," he spat through his teeth. "You decide what happens. Tell me you still love me and she will live."