never grow up.

9. diet mountain dew

(diet mountain dew- lana del rey)

(a/n: i'm convinced that one of lana's inspirations for her music is Sylvia Plath and i just gotta say I'm in love with her concept)

"So, I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't want you in the worse way when I first laid eyes on you."

A cigarette is lit with the window open, cold air flowing in immediately. The scent of the smoke flew out as the air came in. My hair was all over the pillow  and I never felt so relaxed in my entire life. My naked body was covered in the silk of Soojin's sheets. I watched her sit by the window, smoking and looking over the city. "I hope that isn't the only reason you wanted me."

Soojin rolled her shoulders. "Since you want me to be honest, it was initially until I talked to you and saw you in broad daylight." She took a long drag of her cigarette. "You're special, Miss Taiwan."

"I thought you were a spectacle," I said. She hovered over me, tossing the cigarette in the ashtray. "Someone unattainable. Emotionally unavailable. You're everything that people warn me about."

"Well, I wouldn't hurt you like the many people I've hurt before," she whispers. "I think we should order some food because I can't have you starving."

"You're enough for me," I said. But my stomach growled. Soojin quirked an eyebrow. "Just give me some of you."

"Unfortunately, I never let anyone touch me. I love having full control." She got off the bed and pulled on a shirt and pulled on her pants, much to my dismay. "Thanks to you, we don't have food."

"I wasn't the one who wanted to eat someone out for a meal."

"Not my fault I had an acquired taste." Soojin clicked her tongue and then grabbed her keys.

"Where are you going?"

"Getting us some ramen."

"Without me?"

"You just sit and look pretty. There's literally a 7/11 two seconds from here. It's a walk." She kissed my forehead. "Be right back." With that, the door closes behind her. I noticed that Soojin left her phone on the nightstand. It buzzed, signaling that she had a text message. I crawled over, covering myself with the wool blanket. I noticed that there were many notifications saying that her payments were paid in full. Then there was a message from a guy named Kino. Before I could read it, I felt the door click. Immediately, I returned to my laying position. "Told you it was two seconds." She sat the bags down on the small table by the door and took off her jacket, slipping off her shoes.

"What time are we leaving for the club?" I ask, my curiosity burning. She hands me a cup of steaming ramen.

Soojin slurps as she sits in the chair across from me. "Soon. I have to figure out what you're gonna wear." She smirks. "I'm thinking...I have a lot of clothes in my closet. However, the outfits I have may make me want to keep you here another night."

I raise an eyebrow. "You don't want me to stay another night?"

"Well," Soojin huffs. "I have to work after I drop you off at home. I need to support my living."

I roll on the bed, sitting up while still covering my body. I was going to miss Soojin a lot. I was also still registering the details of what had just occurred 30 minutes ago. The fact that I lost my virginity to her. The gentleness of it all. I didn't want to be greedy, but I never felt so free in my life.  I wanted more of that feeling. "But, I'm going to miss you."

Soojin smirked, her lips bereft of the red lipstick she usually wears. She looks so beautiful without the makeup. "Trust me, I'll be missing you even more." She goes to her closet. "Now...what to put you in...I should take you shopping in Paris."

"P-Paris?" I gasped.

"You're dating me. We should do a weekend in Paris and another weekend in Helsinki. I do like getting out of the country often. Also, I just want to give you everything. What is your dream location?" she asks me. She takes a cased dress and places it on the bed before climbing up next to me. "Tell me."

"I would love to go to an island," I  said. "Watch the sunrise and sunset. Feeling the sun on my skin. Seeing all the stars in the sky that I never see." Soojin intertwines her fingers in mine. "It wouldn't be special if you've already been there...I want to experience things with you."

Soojin bit her bottom lip. "My experience is your experience...." she hovers over me, taking my empty ramen cup and shooting it directly in the trashcan. "I know I went through everything, but...everything is new with you." She kisses my lips and then my jaw. "So new....god I want to keep you to myself all day....but..." She gets off of me. "We got a day ahead of us."

I roll on my side to watch her unzip the dress on the bed. She looks up at me and then looks down at the dress. I check her out as she takes the dress out the casing. Her body was slim, but perfect in all the right places. I licked my lips, wondering how she tasted. Eventually, she holds up the dress to my swathed body. "The color makes your skin pop."

I smile. "What does that mean?"

Soojin holds my hand and helps me from the bed. "Let me help you into this..." I pull on the dress as she stands behind me. She holds me by the waist and zips up the dress. I close my eyes as I felt her hot breath against my ear. "I swear I'd gut the man who looks at you in the club in this."

I take a look in the mirror. Though I'm not in makeup or anything, I look different. The little girl who once came here was not in the picture. It was a grown woman. Her hair was down. She had this carefree look in her eyes. A woman stands behind her, eyes filled with admiration. This maybe was my destiny. Soojin takes me by the waist and I kiss her lips on my own. She's shocked by my sudden confidence.

I'm not that little girl that she met anymore. She's gone.