never grow up.

21. easy life

(easy life- sangria) 

(A/N: this is one of my favorite songs at the moment and it just made me think of this version of Sooshu that I created. Blessing y'all again cuz I can.)

Waking up to an empty bed was not a part of the plan. But, I am so used to it. It was a shame that I was used to having Soojin gone but after 2 days and countless times I climaxed from pleasure, I could care less where she went. She will come back. She always comes back. 

I got up, showered, brushed my teeth. I put my hair up in a ponytail and packed the rest of my toiletries into a  bag. I stepped out the balcony one last time, inhaling the fresh oxygen from the hazy cigarette stench in the hotel room. After I got a text from Minnie that they were in the lobby, I went downstairs. 

"Where's Soojin?" Yuqi asked, concern in her tone. 

I shrugged. "Don't know don't care." 

Soyeon widened her eyes as she handed the receptionist the key cards back. 

I was perfectly confident in Soojin coming back, but I know that love is a drug. Sex is an even harder one and I knew Soojin would probably be on the first flight to Korea to beat me there. She was handling her business with Hui. I had to let her do that for the sake of our relationship. 

When we got on the plane, I opted for a seat away from everyone so I could clear my mind. I didn't feel like hearing anyone talk or ask me any questions. Or berate me for how much they heard me moan the whole weekend. I gave no fucks. 

Once we got back to Korea, Miyeon was parked by the airport with our names written in Hangul on a whiteboard. She had a big sun hat on with sunglasses. "My bitches are finally back! I missed you all." 

"Girl, you were busy with Mr. Jaehyun." Minnie swatted Miyeon's arm before hugging her. 

Miyeon sighed as Jaehyun opened the car's back doors. "Hey ladies," he said. 

I wondered if I was that out of commission to notice that Miyeon was with this guy the whole time. I guess the whole crew except Minnie was in a relationship. But just to be sure...I had to ask. "Minnie, are you seeing anybody?" 

Minnie puckered her lips, deep in thought. And then she shook her head. 

"I swore that dude BamBam or whatever his name was was in your DMs." 

"I keep my love life private," Minnie said. "You guys will never know who I'm kissing or sleeping with." 

"I know you're seeing one of my bartenders, Sorn." Soyeon smiled with mischief. "I should have invited her. I wonder how things would have went down." 

Minnie's cheeks turned red. "See, this is why I don't talk about my love life. You guys are already on Shuhua's case. What if I was dating a drug dealer or ...I don't know...the president's daughter? Or son? Yuqi wouldn't shut the fuck up, definitely. See, I should have told you not to tell you shit to Yuqi, Shu." 

I laughed. "Okay, but we're all here for a few more months. How are you going to keep and maintain your entanglements?" 

"Soyeon knows my number," Yuqi said. "She will always have it." 

"I have a man back home." Minnie crossed her legs. "But, he said I could experience people." 

I played with my thumbs. "So...nobody loves anyone they're with." 

"I am not going to lie," Soyeon said. "I think I do love Yuqi." 

Yuqi began laughing. "You love what I do to you." 

"That too." 

Once we got back to the boarding house, I did recall I was not going back with the girls'. I was going to an apartment in UN Village. Once they shut the car doors, I felt sad and lonely again. Though Soyeon and Miyeon were here. I just wanted more comfort. "Do you know where Soojin is?" I asked quietly. 

Soyeon shook her head. "If I knew, I would have let you all know. But, she goes MIA when she wants to." 

I sighed. 

Miyeon poured a glass of champagne. "You need a drink, don't you?" 

"I'm good." I looked out the window to see the busy streets of Seoul and soon Hannamdong. People were streaked in expensive fabrics and wild fashion. I forgot how glamorous it was. UN village's gates opened. 

We were going in the direction of Soojin's place and before I knew it, Soyeon led me to Soojin's door. I held my expensive ass luggage that Soojin bought me before she left. I wished that we had time to go shopping. It was weird to be in this space without her. Soyeon unlocked the door and it was cleaned up from the last time we were there. The dog bowls were not there. The wedding photo was gone. The furniture was changed. The only thing that remained was the beautiful drapes. 

Soyeon handed me the keys. "Every time I'm here, I'm slightly reminded of what could have been. But, then I remember I'm not 21 anymore." 

I raised an eyebrow. "Hm?" 

"Soojin and I were crazy kids once. Thought she'd leave Hui for me. But, I know I was not enough. I see that you have something that she needs. And I'm glad that she found her peace. However," Soyeon paused. She looked out the window. "I can tell this isn't going to end well." 

"How so?" 

"The life is not easy to leave. And she is a big figure here." Soyeon wiped the dust on the window sill. "Finding love for her will either get you or her killed. Because people like her don't have time to fall in love." 

I hugged myself, trying to feel secure. Maybe she was right? I also felt like she was wrong. "So, that's why Yuqi was so paranoid?" 

"Warning you or Soo doesn't help you guys." Soyeon took out a cigarette. "You guys were gonna do whatever anyway. Love is complicated.  And we sure can't stop you from loving each other. She tried to get you cut from your internship, but I prevented that from happening. I had also made sure your stuff safely landed in your home." Soyeon flipped her long black extensions. "I know this internship is priority to you. Promise me you'll finish. Even if she comes back." 

I nodded. "I will." 

"Also, just be careful." She handed me a flip phone. "Use this to call me whenever you're in danger. I know Soo can protect you, but she's not in her right mind. Especially not right now. A person will be there to pick you up within 2 minutes." 

I frowned. "Okay." So, this is what surveillance feels like? I feel like I was being watched by my friends in Taiwan again. 

Soyeon patted my shoulder. "Stay tough, kid." 

I nodded again, watching her leave. I sat down to watch TV. Some drama where two people were kissing each other like they never saw each other in 10 years. I flipped the channel and there was a music video where a couple was enjoying their time together in broad daylight. Just being happy with the sun up, hand-holding. I wish Soojin could hold my hand right now. Though it could be wrong. 

I checked my phone for their number. I called it and it quickly went to voice mail. I wonder what she was doing. I was so paranoid.