never grow up.

24. fool

(fool-winner)

I was at a loss for words. Shuhua protested in pain, her face twisted in Hui's strong grasp. I couldn't hurt her any further. I knew if she stayed here, it would hurt her even more. What about her internship? Our life together, if we could have had one? Hui licked his lips, sniffling. "Say it. Soojin. Please. So she can live."

I looked at her. She looked weak. My heart swelled in pain. I knew she was far gone. Her skin had turned so ghastly. Her fingers were turning blue because of the coldness of the warehouse. I wanted to hold her. Tell her that I loved her. I wished we spent less time making love and more time talking. Holding hands. Small couple things that normal people did. But, I wasn't normal.

"I-"

"Soojin..." Hui groaned. He pat the gun against her temple that was slightly bleeding. "It's so easy. You don't even know this little girl."

"Hui..."

"Say it. Please. I'll let you fuck her brains loose but please don't love anyone else again-"

I breathed in and out through my nose. "I...love you, Hui."

Hui cocked the trigger backz "I don't believe you." He began rocking back and forth. "You're a liar. You don't love me."

I reached out to touch his face, but he dodged me. "Come on, Hui. Let her go."

"No." Hui pressed the gun against Shuhua's temple hard. "You lied to me. You left me in that cell for dead. You belong in there! You killed those people."

I shook my head. "We aren't going to play these games today-" Suddenly there was the sound of police sirens in the distance. I felt instant relief. But then, Hui shot Shuhua. I gasped and started crying uncontrollably. "No!" I grabbed the gun from Hui. "You piece of shit!"

Hongjoong tried to get me but I already shot him in the foot and he screamed. Hui tried to run out the warehouse from the back but a police car was already there. He screamed and fell to the ground.
The officer cuffed him and he looked at me one last time before being pushed into the car. Hongjoong tried to limp away but an officer was already walking into the warehouse.

I held Shuhua in my arms as she looked up at me. Her head was bleeding. I cried as I still felt her heartbeat. Her body was still warm. An ambulance was already there too and they lugged her onto a stretcher. I cried as I couldn't get on with them. I saw my blood on her hands and instantly threw up. That was a reason why I could never ever kill anybody.

Blood was disgusting.

After 20 hours of sitting in the hospital, the doctor came outside with her clipboard. "Are you Shuhua's guardian?"

Suddenly Miyeon, Yuqi, and Minnie were walking up. Minnie avoided eye contact with me
And Yuqi pushed me out of the way. "I am," Yuqi said. "What happened?"

"She survived a massive head trauma accident." The doctor checked the clipboard. "It's a miracle that we even were able to rescue her. However, she is losing a lot of blood...is there anyone O-type?"

I raised my hand. "I'm here."

Yuqi gave me a dirty look. "You're why she's in this predicament."

"Please let me rescue her." I wiped the tears from my eyes. "You weren't there when shit went down. So please...give me a break."

Yuqi's eyes narrowed in on me. "I can't believe you-"

"Let it go." Minnie looked away. "Just let her donate the blood."

I watched as Shuhua laid with a bandage around her head. It was seeping through a little with blood. I felt sad. I cried as I donated the blood. 3 days in the hospital before they decided to put her back on a plane to Taiwan after her recovery. I felt terrible. But, I was able to save her life. The little bit of color she had in her cheeks returned after a few hours. I sat by her side in that hospital room. The beeps on the monitor gave me intense anxiety because I wasn't sure when that beep was going to be a loud prolonged one.

The doctor told Yuqi she was going to live but have slight amnesia. The bullet didn't really hit her brain but it did leave some internal bleeding. And the drugs in her system were flushed out.

Yuqi pushed me outside the hospital room and grabbed my hand. "Hey. I know we aren't the best of friends and I'm not very fond of you...but I want to thank you for saving her life. Especially since you fucked it up."

I scratched the back of my head. "I suppose."

"If she forgets you," Yuqi said. "Do us all a favor and stay away from her."

I furrowed my brow. "Why?" Of course, I knew why. I messed up everything that Shuhua was. Maybe it was good that I stayed away from her. She almost
lost her life because of me. "Nevermind. Please don't answer that."

Yuqi released my hand. "I'm sure you'll manage just fine without her."

I nodded slowly. "I was fine without her before, I'll do good without her again." That may have been a lie. Every moment spent apart from her felt like I was losing myself. I looked at her in the hospital bed.   All the tubes and white bandaids. "Just let me know if you need anything."

"Soyeon is taking care of us." Yuqi folded her arms across her chest. "You can leave now."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Please. Just let me have a moment." Yuqi rolled her eyes and stepped away. I walked into the room again. I planted a kiss on Shuhua's forehead. I touched her fingers, feeling the warmth in them. "I love you," I whispered in her ear. "Please don't forget about me." I was hesitant on those words. "Okay, maybe you should..."

All the trauma she probably went through. The way she acted out. There was so much pain she went through. I had to do leave. I kissed her forehead again before leaving the hospital. I looked up at the building, wondering how many bodies were laid up in here because of my actions, my words, or orders. Maybe I should stop living this foul life. Maybe it's time for me to slow down.

Getting into my car, I turned on the radio and heard the little greeting jingle. It made me jump. I sighed as I took the cigarette box out of the arm rest. I stared long at it before I chucked it out the window and then drove off.