Queen Preferences and Imagines

John Imagine #4

After your graduation, you had thought that you would have been with John forever, that you would make it through with him all the way through college. And he was hopeful for the same thing. You both were so lovestruck and blind that you didn't even notice when reality hit you both. 

Your schooling was getting much more serious as was his and you knew that maintaining a stable relationship wasn't the best for either of you anymore. And even though it saddened and pained you both, it was the right decision. At least, that's what you have thought.

Even though you both attended the same school, you and John slowly but surely ended up losing touch with one another. 

After the breakup, you two still called nearly every day on friendly terms, just to check up on one another. And on the weekends, you both would meet up at a local coffee shop just to chat. It was nice. You had to admit that you really enjoyed it. It even ended up being the highlight of your week just to see him again.

But time went on and snow began to cover up the green grass as winter approached. John's calls started becoming less and less frequent where you would even consider yourself lucky when he would call once a month.

Those calls stopped by the beginning of January. You never heard from him anymore. You had officially lost all contact with the man you had once called your best friend, your boyfriend. 

And over time, you had practically forgotten all about him. You barely thought of him anymore. You put all your focus into school work and you didn't mind it that way at all. You didn't need John and clearly he didn't need you. 

But just when you thought that you had completely forgotten about him and moved on, that's right when he had to squeeze back into your life.

Your roommate Lola was one of the first friends that you met when you arrived on campus. You two connected instantly and you couldn't have asked for a better roommate. You adored her and she was all in all a pleasure to be around. She had quickly replaced John as your new best friend.

But one day when she came into the dorm, she announced to you that she had a new boyfriend. She was gushing on and on about how sweet and charming he was practically for the whole night. You were happy for her. However, that was until she finally mentioned his name.

John Deacon, your John. You felt your heart drop into your stomach and you felt like you could just throw up right then and there. 

Even though you were hurt, you kept the smile on your face. You still wanted to be happy for her. John was a great guy and Lola deserved nothing but the best. She would be happy with John. And John would be happy with her. But yet, you still found that jealousy bubbling up inside of you whenever she mentioned John.

--

"Hey, Y/N, I'm headed out for lunch with Anne, you care to join?" Lola asked as she looked over at you, grabbing her purse while slipping her shoes on.

You looked up from your book and gave her a small smile before shaking your head, "I'm good, thank you. Think I just want to relax today," you chuckled, politely declining her offer, "Have fun." You smiled before going straight back to reading your book.

"Will do. I'll be back soon. Don't have too much fun without me." She joked with a laugh before walking out of the dorm, closing the door behind her to leave you alone in the room.

The hour had gone by pretty smoothly and you were completely engulfed in your book. You were lost in your own little world. You couldn't even think back to the time where you had felt this relaxed.

However, your focus was broken when you heard the door creak back open.

You furrowed your eyebrows slightly but kept your eyes on your book, scanning your eyes through the page as you read.

"You're back early," You laughed quietly and turned the page, "Thought you would still be out with Anne."

"Oh she's out with Anne?"

The voice took you by surprise as you closed your book, quickly looking up.

"Oh.. yeah.. she's not here." You shook your head, immediately feeling flustered as you John standing right next to the door.

John nodded and ran a hand through his hair before closing the door, "Mind if I wait for her here?" he asked gently.

"No of course not." You gave him a small smile and nervously messed with the end of your blanket. But you did mind. You cared a lot if he was here. Your heart was pounding and you weren't even sure if you would be able to control it. You felt like you couldn't breathe whenever he was within a five feet distance.

"Thanks." John nodded and took a seat down over on Lola's bed, sitting there quietly.

You cleared your throat and grabbed your book to begin reading. You hoped that you would be able to get lost in the story again as a way to ignore John completely. However, John made sure that that didn't happen.

"So, how've you been? Haven't seen you in a while." John set his hands in his lap and shot you over an attempt of a friendly smile.

"I've been alright. Busy with school work." You replied bluntly and kept your eyes on the book. But you found yourself re-reading the page over and over again. Your thoughts were clouded with John and nothing else.

John coughed awkwardly and looked over at you, "That's good to hear." He mumbled quietly.

You only nodded and kept quiet as you read over the same sentence again.

John sighed, "Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I really think we need to talk."

"What about, John?"

"About us."

His words took you by surprise as you set your book down, looking back over at him with your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What about us..?"

John got up from his own seat and walked over to you, taking your hand into h is which took you even more by surprise. You could feel his calloused finger tips from all those years of playing the bass. While your mind was screaming at you to let go of his hand, you couldn't. You felt frozen in place. All you could do was stare.

"I miss you." John whispered while giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

"I've missed you too. But now that you're with Lola, I'm sure that we can hang out more. All three of us." You whispered back and gave him a small smile only to have him look down and shake his head.

"No, not like that." He admitted shamefully.

You could practically feel your heart stop at those four words. You knew exactly where he was going. But before you could get another word in, he spoke again.

"I can't be with Lola anymore. She's really a wonderful girl, and I love her, I do. But, not like that. I can't. Not when I love someone else.."

"John.." You mumbled and placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it gently to make his eyes meet yours.

"I love you Y/N, I never stopped." John took a deep breath, trying to prevent the tears from forming in his eyes.

"I love you, John. I always will.." You sighed softly, "But, Lola's my friend. I don't know if I can hurt her like that."

"I know.. hurting her is the last thing I want to do. But I'm just hurting myself from being with her." John rubbed his eyes and looked into your eyes as if he were searching for the answers he so desperately wanted.

You nodded slowly and let go of his hand before placing a delicate kiss to his cheek, "Follow your heart John. I'll be waiting for you." you whispered in his ear before walking out of your dorm room, leaving John there.