To Anyone That Cares

To: Everyone

How do you know when it's time to give up? Whether it's on something, someone, or yourself. I guess it's like one of those shitty internal questions where you'll spend your whole damn life looking for the answer in other people until you finally find out it's in you. And then, of course, you go into the depression phase where you deny having the answer and when you try and find it, it's not there.

The dictionary defines giving up as this: the act of giving up on an action one is performing or on a noun which one is involved with.
I think that's a pretty shitty definition. It's like, why would I want to give you on something that in involved with? The answer is simple; you wouldn't. To me, one gives up because they have no solution to their problem. And that doesn't mean that the person just got lazy and labels it 'no solution,' it means that they looked everywhere-like fucking everywhere- in them, in others, in books, on line, in religion, in the void, in love, in hate, but they found no solution.

Now don't take this as tat there is no solution to a problem forever. It just means that at that time in that exact moment, there was no solution yet created for that specific problem. And so, when one decides to give up, they feel lonely and unloved because the world hasn't given them a solution to their problem. I have to say that that feeling of giving up is the worst feeling in the world.

It's like having your heart broken twenty times over and not having any glue to put it back together. Like wanting to scream to someone but not having a voice. It's like watching the people you love be happy and knowing that none of them miss you. You feel all these awful feelings at once and it's like a total wave that keeps crashing on you over and over and over until the world finally gives you a solution to your problem. But the worst part about giving up, its having to answer those questions.

"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, don't worry."

"Are you sure that you're alright?"
"I'm fine, just tired..."

And it's those answers that you give that kill you because those are the same answers you spent hours trying to convince yourself of when you know they aren't true. I hate answering those questions. But giving up is a part of life that we all go through, no matter what. The thing is, some of us are better at hiding it then most.

There is one thing I like about giving up, though. It's that when one gives up, it is the peak of their climactic mountain where in a slit second, they are on their way down the mountain finishing their story. It's like the scene that prepares you for the huge musical number. It's the part of your life where you realize that-right then-things will start to slowly get better until the world comes up with your solution. It's the moment after the big storm where you think everything had been ruined, but things are just about to get better.

Giving up is one of the moments we live for, because, without giving up, we would all be driving ourselves crazy trying to solve a problem that is-at the moment-unsolvable. Giving up is the moment of impact, so don't be afraid to crash.

Think about it,
Elizabeth Lynn Martin