tryst - an ashaangi ff

vi

There was one point in his life, where Ashwin wondered if he'd ever make meaningful connections with people. Aside from the friends he made in college, he hadn't made any relationships. It always work, family, work, family in a constant repeat.

But here he was sitting in the middle of his dressing room surrounded by these people who manged to bring the fun side of him. He looked around the room, looking at the people he know called family, and wondered what he ever did to deserve them.

And of course, there was always her. Somehow she managed to turn him into a person he never knew he was. He staggered under her bold gaze and affectionate replies. She always rendered him speechless and flustered. He had never felt this way before, unable to control his emotions. But around her, he acted like a blushing 15 year old.

So when people tried to make fun of her, he naturally felt protective. As a friend, right? Nothing more to it, just a concerned friend. However he couldn't ignore the way she backed away and her eyes became dull when everyone accused her of not being productive. No one meant any ill harm, of course, but he could still see that she was hurt.

Sure, she wasn't the brightest of cooks, but that's the whole point right? They don't know how to cook. And he would admit that she works the most under him, and he would honestly like to keep it that way. He suddenly felt the urge to take her away from that place. She's supposed to always be bubbly and happy, and he didn't want her to hear things like that.

However, he was actually suprised when he saw that her big doe eyes were prickled with tears. She must've felt really bad if she was willing to shed tears infront of the cameras. He tried consoling her, but there's only so much he can do with so many cameras.

So once they took a break, he pulled her aside, taking her outside the set to a bit secluded place, where they usually take photos. He frowned at her long face and sighed.

"Enna achu?" he asked her, sitting her down on a chair. She shook her head, looking away from his eyes.

"Sivaangi ma" he beckoned her to look at him and she finally did, feeling even more guilty when she did and felt herself tearing up more.

"Enna prachana? Talk to me" he said, kneeling down infront of her. He sighed at her silent form and hesitated for a while, before taking her hands into his own. At this point he didn't even know if he was conscious of what he was doing.

"Na illama vera yaaravathu vanthurntha neenga jeichirpinga la?" she asked him, looking down at how her hand was encapsulated into his warm ones.

"Yaar sona?" He questioned her, and she fell silent, her chest feeling tight. He sighed again and moved closer to her.

"Advantage task thana? Ithula enna iruku? Main task iruku la, athula jeicha pochu" he said with a soft smile. She, however, was not convinced and said, "Ellarum naa ethume panlanu solranga, na try panna, but athuku mela ennala mudiyala." Ashwin couldn't help but smile; she vaguely reminded her of his 5 year old cousin.

"Nee try pannanu unnaku theriyum, ennakum theriyum. Mathavanga sonna solitu pottum. Nammaku therinja pothum" he said. Sivaangi sighed, wiped her watery eyes and nodded. "Sorry" she said instinctively.

"Ethuku ippo. Nee yosikatha, ellathayum avar paathupar." he said, pointing at the sky. She smiled at him, feeling so lucky to have met someone like him.

"Aan! Ithu than Sivaangi." he said with a bright smile, pointing at her happy face. She giggled, and he could feel a wave of relief crash over him, the sound like music to his ears. He let out a breathe he didn't realise he had been holding in. He looked down at their joint hands and quickly removed them, coughing to cover it up.

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Sivaangi had a lot of crushes in her life. At school, college, even celebrity crushes. She always kept her expectations to a minimum. She had learnt it the harsh way to not expect anything out of anyone and to take things lightly. Which is partly why she always says she can't do relationships. She's so scared of being let down or having hopes only to get disappointed by them. She had learnt to place herself at low importance in other people's lives.

She had expected the same out of him. I mean, why would he consider her? She wasn't exceptionally beautiful or had something unique about her. One would say her voice, but she had received so much hate for it that she wondered if it was even a merit.

But he didn't care. Atleast he didn't care about the "negatives". Sivaangi was still skeptical if Ashwin even liked her as a  person. She wouldn't call this insecurity. She knew she was a person deserving of love and affection, she just gave up on trying to make people understand that.

But she never needed to take that effort with him. He understood and accepted her for the way she is. He always managed to make her feel special in the most subtle way possible.

There was so no reason for him to stand up for her today, but he did. She remembered his suprised face when she sang his song for him. If she could, she wanted to freeze that moment and relive it again and again. She felt such warmth in her heart. A furious blush appeared on her cheeks at the memory and she buried herself in her pillow squealing quietly. She slowly came to realise that she wanted to bring that happiness to him again and again, she didn't know what that meant, but she cherished for as long as she held it in her heart.

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Ashwin couldn't wait to get out the set. He felt so many emotions suppressed for too long and he couldn't look at her in the eye without his stomach doing flips. He somehow managed to stagger a goodbye out of him without making it awkward and zoomed out of there.

The whole day he felt like he was in a movie, right from when he was paired with her til when she sang for him, it all felt like a movie. He couldn't help but smile, his heart fluttering, her voice echoing around his heart unable to get out of his head. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and his overwhelming emotions.

He wouldn't say he didn't like whatever that was happening within him. She often happened to be the cause of his peppy mood and smiles and he didn't mind that. But it scared him. All his life he had been within a certain circle of people, but she had came in crashing with no warning. Was he even worth all of her affection? He seriously doubted it.

His head was a mess when he got home, deciding to take a hot shower when he felt his phone vibrate with a new message.

Thank you for today :). Paatu paadiya ungala correct paniduven! ;)

He chuckled at the message, his mood immediately lifted and shook his head. He didn't know where it was headed or what it was even, but he didn't feel like stopping. He was tired of being scared and stopping and doubting himself. If she could bring a smile to his face, he sure damn can do that to her as well, for a long time.

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hi hi makkale!

suprise update? i told you it would be late but I felt like writing so here it is. this is the longest chapter as of now. :o

i don't wanna rush things between them, but I have things planned! and there's a lot of kulu kulu coming up. i really wanted to do a chapter on the immunity episode because it was one of the few times ashwin openly expressed something.

hope you liked it! don't forget to comment and tell me what you didn't or did like and vote as well!

love,
sai